I'm now mad at my lao bu. Today, I've been grievously sick, reeling from the twin brothers-in-arms of cough and cold medicines, drowsy and heady, and full of resent. Funny how a week's shift can change things so much. Last week I was looking forward to this week to be the best so far, especially after my back recovered from the injury. And now. I'm cursed with illness and ailment, and my mother and grandmother has once again leapt to broach the topic of me dropping my training in Kyokushin Karate.

Its not the first time it's happened. Now that I'm having all the facial discomfort-afflicting trio of feverishness, sorethroat and clogged mid-section, they blame this on my Karate. WTF. My grandmother claims that it's 'the exertion from your kicks and punches that made your nose go bad'. I'm not angry at my granny for that, just exasperated at her. It's a bit silly really. Until she threatened to go over and give Sensei a mouthful. -.-
My mother likes to think that I've expended a lot of time into Karate and now Taekwondo and also, my scarce gym routine. And now she's forcing me to boot off one by one; and she's rallied all my relatives to persuade and pressure me.

And even when and while I was studying, and I was doing so seriously, she came over and dismissed the hours I'd put in, and said over and over again, it rings about my ears even now! I'm disgusted by this sneaky sorta attack that is being mounted at me.
I made a mistake in 2005 by leaving Kyokushin training for a 6-month hiatus, and look where it got me.
And now they are asking me to regard something that I'm determined to make part of my life as a past time which I should forget, starting right about now.

FUCK.
Stop that, woman.
You asked me about my direction in life and in Karate and you pretend to know what I've been doing outside. There are things in my training, bits and pieces that I don't tell you and you don't see. Why do I bother? There are bits and pieces of my life I tell and show you, but you still don't see. Explicitly: when I'm studying my arse off!

You don't get to be good at something without putting blood and guts into it, goddammit.
I'm not going to those days where my legs would feel stiff and my hands-heavy.
When I'm in the ring, I have full rein over my whole body. It's my hands and legs dancing that protect me, and not any diplomacy. It took me a lot to go back to Karate when it was 2005. I haven't been through any of the rigours of the training for about 6 months in total, the forms and techniques were blurred, and my limbs were slowed. Others might have progressed forward while I'd have slid backwards.
When I went back: Dinie had won the SMAIA tournament and also represented Singapore at the International Youth tournament in Chiba, Japan.
It was something that I could also have, but I missed because i was slacking my royal bum off at home, doing nothing and all of it not worthwhile.

And so, if you were to pull me out away from it, would I still do well in the other aspects of my life? I joined Taekwondo for 3 reasons:

1) To refine my leg techniques and make it faster.
2) To earn another Black Belt in another Martial Art
3) Because there aren't any course fees.

There! Would I have joined Canoeing? Thank God I did not. If I'd did, there would no longer be space for Karate. Why won't these dumb adults understand that Karate isn't a hobby, isn't a venture for me to exhaust my frustration and anger, isn't a way to breed violence, isn't a way to brawl? But a way of life.
If I could have it my way, I'd get on a plane to fly to Tokyo. And train full time.
But then, in Singapore, you're useless if you don't have anything substantial to show for grades. So I plough on. Shaddup about me dropping any of them. Not just you, mother, but also, the rest of the stupid world. I'm too mad to bother about some exceptions to that.

I planned to unveil a furious training regime so that I can take the Dan test in August and also, so that I can fight better. And this compels me to mention the crazy Sunday that was past and chiefly responsible for my discomfort, though not directly.