Walk Care-fully.

I suspect atrophy in my literacy, owing to a long cessation from stringing out my thoughts in a clear line, and placing them in text form. I will need to be concise, to serve myself and others better.

This site is a record of how I've travelled through the course of this life, and there are both embarrassing moments that I retain, and shrines where I magnify myself, and project the outward spiritual health that I have not. It will be a forward movement to expel the pomp and the bad habits gathered over a careless walk.

1.  These days the Word is less fresh in my heart and mind, and it feels as if uphill to re-enter the track of a disciplined, measured life. It is known that the Christian life needs to be mindfully and prayerfully walked, for if we coast on, we will slide. There are motivating thoughts: that as with any form of training, treading the path of most resistance will help us grow.

The simple thing to do is to watch and pray and slowly hold on to the things the Lord hath said. But sometimes I feel as if I have not enough fingers or mind to do so.

So the best strategy is to cultivate an environment that provokes me to observe positive habits of prayer and reading, and follow it up with my hands, feet, lips. (James 1:22 - But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.)

2.  Where I mind less the things of the Spirit, the flesh and its trappings come into the foreground. There are legitimate desires of need, and also of substances that do not offend the righteousness of God. But there are also the resurgence of self-absorbed tendencies, where I put myself above God's Word, and the love of others. I also yield easily to laziness, unproductive computer distractions, and to unworthy thoughts, when I care little for my spiritual life. The solution is the same as (1), and needs to be applied all the time.

3.  In the 3rd Year of study, I still feel a frequent sense of inadequacy in my field, and inequity when I meet with my peers and sit through close-group sessions. Of course I am sure most persons either have the same sense, or a blinding sense of superiority. But I suppose I can really do more in my study outside of class, rather than seeking to scrape the epidermis off the subject/modules I do.
I'm also wondering how to regard past successes and failures, and to avert the inflated view of my abilities, whether in command and officership, or physicality at Karate.

4.  It still is a daily challenge, and necessary exercise to love and be gracious to others, because the sinful tendency to turn on others and withhold the kindness and forgiveness God has given to us is very deep seated.

5. Store of Theological thoughts and verses that I reaped today:

Knowledge does not save, neither does it give us spiritual capital over another person. Rather, the possession of knowledge indicts us, when we neglect to do what we know we should/must/can.

Psalm 139

King James Version (KJV)

3 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

a.  Both the inward and the outward must be acceptable to the Lord; both acceptable thought and desire, and acceptable action.

b. Daily deal with the fleshly lusts, that are a many-headed monster.

c.  It is time to start living like a faithful man.

d.  When we have offended God, we are reconciled to Him on His terms, not ours.

e.  How atonement for sin is made: a clean animal is killed, and its blood is offered (sprinkled on the altar of God), on behalf of the man who sinned. He must confess his sin and make right with the acceptable offering (Leviticus 16, Hebrews 9, 10).

f.  The emphasis is not the gore, but the great price of Redemption that God was willing to make.

g.  If we would not have the Lamb bear our transgressions, who else but ourselves will have to account for the unrighteousness of our lives? The wrath of God abideth (John 3:36).

h.  Daily secure audiences with the Lord.

My body resists the 3 day per week heavy lifting, and I am given to bouts of sneezing, colds and incapacitation from time to time. I suspect that careless bedtimes and poor quality sleep incurs a debt beyond what I can recover. Again, I need to demolish bad habits.

This place must not be a shrine to myself, but a faithful record of how God deigns to work with sinners, and lead them in His good and blessed way.

Another Exercise in Self-Reflexivity

We often have a false and very romantic view of ourselves, that downplays our defects which are actually glaring to others, even when we glaze over them. Social media gives me a space to control the outputs and sustaining a sanitized projection of myself.

I remember the intervals where I do well (by my own reckoning), splice out the parts where I stumble, default and go astray, and compile these intervals to make a linear transcript.

Thank God for lucid moments, which I am to remain in, so I may steer my life after Christ. Where I lead myself, I always go wrong eventually or immediately and plunge into some sin, whether in private spheres of the mind, or in speech and action. So it is wonderfully apt that my Shepherd comes to lead me. But at the same time, I need to willingly follow.

And so I do what I can with what I have, which is God's Word, and use it to frame my life.

CONDUCT, CHARACTER, DOCTRINE

Proverbs 23:7

King James Version (KJV)

⁷ For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.

I falsely believe that the man I am is what I seem, but really: who I am is what goes on in my mind and heart. And thus God deals with truly who we are, and not what we make ourselves out to be. In the privacy of our mind, we may be politically incorrect, hateful, racist, vile and downright immoral. We consider it an intrusion when somebody minds what goes on inside our private space, but it is our true character, and it seeps out when we are not so careful with the mastery of our speech and actions.

So I put in these 3 segments how I need to mind myself, and to realign when I err: CONDUCT, CHARACTER, DOCTRINE

-My life is a witness to the work of God in me, and where I fail, I discredit Him, and it would be terribly shameful and sorrowful, though I don't know the feeling yet.
-I need to show forth God's love and kindness and win others to Christ.
-My life must be a pattern of good works so I may glorify God and lead men to Him.

Titus 2

King James Version (KJV)

⁶ Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.

⁷ In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,

⁸ Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.

-I need to be sober minded, lucid and not influenced by any intoxicating substance or fancy.
-My life must consistently be a pattern of good works.
-Doctrine must be pure, serious, and honest.
-I must strive for sound speech that is love mixed with truth. I cannot be combative, but to discuss reasonably and compassionately with others. I must not be penalized for the spirit and the facts which I give. I must have integrity and sincerity.


It will be the holidays soon where I can choose my reading material, and I would like to be able to explore the following:

1. Bible's robustness, whether philosophically, archaeologically, scientifically, historically examined.
2. Against Moral Relativism that breaks down any objective poles of right and wrong.
3. Our reliability on Rationality (especially if we subscribe to the evolutionary model).
4. The slippery slope of sexual egalitarianism.
5. How to share the kindness and love of God to others quickly and meet spiritual, emotional needs of brethren and non-believers.

As I have said, don't swallow the projection, but use what is edifying, particularly God's Word. I know these things, but I need to perform them continually today, tomorrow and beyond.

Galatians 6: 3
For if a man thinketh himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

Today has been an exercise to cleanse my heart and to excise sinful self-importance, where I demand things to go my way, where I must be pre-eminent, and I get upset when conditions thwart my designs.


When there are things that do not line up for me, I am upset, distraught, and thoroughly dissuaded from doing things right.

I have been thinking of myself as more spiritual than I was, and over these months the contents of my heart - filled to the brim with things like sinful self-glory and self-love - have been more and more exposed.
It seems that in human relationships, there are particular instances where I just want the comforts from a person who is wholly devoted to pleasing ME, and acquiescing to my wants, my schedule, my preferences. 

This is not the love of Christ. He bore those He loves with patient longsuffering, and gave all for their eternal good. But me, I insist on my good(s).

It took an uncommon and unnatural strength to decide to deal with a cloudy head and heart first, rather than the Saturday activities I determined for myself.

1 Timothy 1: 5
Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned:

(Paul writes to Timothy that the outcome of the Law is love and faith towards the Lord and to all men.)

But my heart has been unyielding, impure, and idolatrous, seeking to maneuver myself into being the worship centre. 

1 John 2:1 ... And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

This verse in the same line while pointing to the hope of our advocate who is seated at the right hand of God who intercedes for us (no need for any other intermediate such as Mary), also states that sin is possible for Christians, and that sin should be more and more of a rarity.

Christ has provided the means for us both to be forgiven, and also, to be able to live the Spirit-filled, Spirit-led life. (Ephesians 1:3)

If I do not live as though I have the Spirit of God, I will be in the flesh, which goads me to sin.

To never stop beholding Christ, else I would His love, kindness, holiness and rush to please myself.

Not to be self-absorbed, but to shed away the love of the self, and to put on the mind of Christ and the peace of God, to live life in the way He's exampled and equipped us to.

Fatal Forgetting, and Gracious Guidance

Walking after a path requires all footsteps to line up continually in the same way, and when I look at my spiritual life, it seems so much that I stumble and stagger all through the routes I had been through.

I idealize the intimacy that I have had with the Lord, the sweet fellowship of being in His Word, being encouraged by His Word and so mindful of His sayings, but when I look back, there is so much pomp and pride and sin. I did well, I walked well, and it was because God had grace on ME.

There was very little fruit of love and gentleness in my intercourse with others, but a whole lot of flaunting my knowledge and my 'good standing in the Lord'. And forgetting that God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace to the humble.

James 4: 6 (KJV) But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

Where I am not careful, I so easily switch into pleasing the flesh. The flesh is proud of itself, even though it doesn't gain but daily suffers irretrievable loss; we decay a little everyday until our time is up.

And neither can I blame others in my life for "causing me" to do poorly in my personal walk, whether by being inadequate examples of godliness, or by offering outlets for sin.

James 1: 14  (KJV) - "But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed."

Sin is a personal decision and though others may goad us, we are the ones who make the footsteps.
And where we quench (starve) the Spirit by continually heading quickly to please our fleshly impulses (to look, to taste, to touch) without the daily accumulation of God's Word, we will empower the flesh, and weaken our strength to do right which is God's will.

These things I know, or rather "knew", because knowing is in the present tense. One fatal mistake is where we forget, and let go of the important things God has taught us. Previous lessons about overcoming sin, and addressing issues of pride, anger and even lust.

When I am silent, especially on declaring the things of God, it may very well be that it is an indication that I haven't been bearing much fruit, because the overflow of God's filling in our hearts and mind is thanksgiving and praise.

We can't be happy in petty things for long, like a meal, a temporary accomplishment, but we may be eternally happy and assured in the Lord. 

Being unable to overcome certain patterns of thinking led me to wonder, did I really crucify the old man with Christ?

I had been led to think:
-I am having no success in overcoming the fleshly impulses. (eating, watching, talking, thinking)
-Confession is no good or inadequate.
-Continually trapped in having to please what I feel like doing rather than what I must do. 
-I can't do God's will.

When we forget that we were spiritually insensible, and needed the Word and Spirit of the Lord for life in Christ, persisting only in the flesh is a downward spiral.

First step is to go back into the Word. There is comfort, and reminders in the Word, and also action sequences.

Psalm 119

9Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.

10With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments.

11Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

Reminders from the Word:

-I am a son, and the Lord has set me free from the bondage of sin.
-The Truth will set us free, and we may be sanctified by God's Truth (Word) (John 17:17)
-Heed God's Word - hear and do
-I have the Spirit of adoption, sonship (Romans 8: 15-16)
-God my Father has put an excellent Spirit within me (Daniel 6:3)
-He has given me all "spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ" (Ephesians 1:3)
-Let everyone that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.

Without the Word of God, we would walk continually in the flesh, because we would lose sense of flesh and spirit. How do we as 'subjective individuals' tell between the impulse of God, or from our wayward flesh that obstructs us and wars against the soul.

1 Peter 2:11 (KJV) Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;

If we are to walk in the Spirit, we would walk like Christ, and after His example. However if we lose sense of what, who and how the Lord is, and stay away from the record of what He is like in the Scriptures, we would forget His zeal for the sanctity of the temple, His rebuke of the Pharisees who proffered a religion they did not live, His speaking of the enemy who seeks to ruin God's work, His speaking of a coming judgement where the righteous will go to life everlasting, and the wicked to eternal punishment.
We would be left with an indulgent, all-loving, unrighteous and unholy Christ who does not care how we live, in sin or not.

The Bible teaches us,
1. Not to wander from God's commandments, not neglect or lack of care.
2. We clean up our way by doing God's sayings. (there is a record of what God has said)
3. We store up what God has left us to remember and circulate in our hearts and minds.

Beloved children of God have the resources to overcome sin. By clinging to His Word, we may be cleansed, nourished, refreshed, dealt with under the conviction of the Spirit about our sinful thoughts, behaviours, attitudes, and increase in personal knowledge about who God is, and how He is like.
Thank God for comfort and reminders in His Word, even where human forgetfulness and the failures of the flesh does hinder us most times.

The joyful thing is that God loves and continually works to perfect us, and we have the spiritual resources to do so.

Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a very good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ;

2 Timothy 3: 15-17 (KJV) 
And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. 16All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 17That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works

Now to hold on to these things, and not leak, and also not to be proud that God has brought me to renewed understanding of these.