This site is a record of how I've travelled through the course of this life, and there are both embarrassing moments that I retain, and shrines where I magnify myself, and project the outward spiritual health that I have not. It will be a forward movement to expel the pomp and the bad habits gathered over a careless walk.
1. These days the Word is less fresh in my heart and mind, and it feels as if uphill to re-enter the track of a disciplined, measured life. It is known that the Christian life needs to be mindfully and prayerfully walked, for if we coast on, we will slide. There are motivating thoughts: that as with any form of training, treading the path of most resistance will help us grow.
The simple thing to do is to watch and pray and slowly hold on to the things the Lord hath said. But sometimes I feel as if I have not enough fingers or mind to do so.
So the best strategy is to cultivate an environment that provokes me to observe positive habits of prayer and reading, and follow it up with my hands, feet, lips. (James 1:22 - But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.)
2. Where I mind less the things of the Spirit, the flesh and its trappings come into the foreground. There are legitimate desires of need, and also of substances that do not offend the righteousness of God. But there are also the resurgence of self-absorbed tendencies, where I put myself above God's Word, and the love of others. I also yield easily to laziness, unproductive computer distractions, and to unworthy thoughts, when I care little for my spiritual life. The solution is the same as (1), and needs to be applied all the time.
3. In the 3rd Year of study, I still feel a frequent sense of inadequacy in my field, and inequity when I meet with my peers and sit through close-group sessions. Of course I am sure most persons either have the same sense, or a blinding sense of superiority. But I suppose I can really do more in my study outside of class, rather than seeking to scrape the epidermis off the subject/modules I do.
I'm also wondering how to regard past successes and failures, and to avert the inflated view of my abilities, whether in command and officership, or physicality at Karate.
4. It still is a daily challenge, and necessary exercise to love and be gracious to others, because the sinful tendency to turn on others and withhold the kindness and forgiveness God has given to us is very deep seated.
5. Store of Theological thoughts and verses that I reaped today:
Knowledge does not save, neither does it give us spiritual capital over another person. Rather, the possession of knowledge indicts us, when we neglect to do what we know we should/must/can.
King James Version (KJV)
3 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
a. Both the inward and the outward must be acceptable to the Lord; both acceptable thought and desire, and acceptable action.
b. Daily deal with the fleshly lusts, that are a many-headed monster.
c. It is time to start living like a faithful man.
d. When we have offended God, we are reconciled to Him on His terms, not ours.
e. How atonement for sin is made: a clean animal is killed, and its blood is offered (sprinkled on the altar of God), on behalf of the man who sinned. He must confess his sin and make right with the acceptable offering (Leviticus 16, Hebrews 9, 10).
f. The emphasis is not the gore, but the great price of Redemption that God was willing to make.
g. If we would not have the Lamb bear our transgressions, who else but ourselves will have to account for the unrighteousness of our lives? The wrath of God abideth (John 3:36).
h. Daily secure audiences with the Lord.
My body resists the 3 day per week heavy lifting, and I am given to bouts of sneezing, colds and incapacitation from time to time. I suspect that careless bedtimes and poor quality sleep incurs a debt beyond what I can recover. Again, I need to demolish bad habits.
This place must not be a shrine to myself, but a faithful record of how God deigns to work with sinners, and lead them in His good and blessed way.