Thursday, November 17, 2011

Two Hearts Meeting.

Who can discern what is the Lord preparing for each of us.
But it is goodness not according to our human proportions, for we have shallow vision and petty preferences that do not fit in with His good design.

Looking back at the journals of the past months to recapture the lessons learnt in spiritual and academic ways, I saw that in September 5 I wrote this:

Somebody who is spiritually alive - I am looking for her. 

I had come to terms with suspending my searching and looking and began to be content with waiting for Lord's preparation of two of His beloved to meet in His correct time. I also found that there was a need for me to prepare to be the Christian young man and the husband that I would eventually be.

There is no time to loaf around to wait for things to happen before preparation is done. Once we are sensible of our desires, we must begin to cooperate with Him in preparing us. Maturity does not happen instantly. It must be cultivated.

The sense of how we were prepared through our years of life to meet is overwhelming. If I had not grown concerned on the severity of what it means and takes to be the head of a household who serves the Lord, I would have been slack and not begun to deepen my faith.

The Lord has tempered me and mellowed me; He has taken an active involvement in my growth.
I am truly glad that it was the Word of God that brought us to a knowledge of the other.
And that now we are learning to cherish and love each other. It is so comforting that we mean to love each other past the outward, and instead in the entirety of who the other is.
To say to the other, whatever you are, I will love, this is the commitment that it should be.

And it will not be that we give our hearts to one another, but that we join them, and have our Father weave them together. We then give our hearts that are in the same frequency over to Him. We seek Him with our whole hearts and we may find Him. He is our hearts' desire and our soul's rest.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Psalm 42


11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.

In the spirit of giving thanks, I now see how He has worked to change my perception, my nature and my very person. It has always been Christ perfecting me. How He healed, taught and established me in faith. What makes me good, valuable or likable is not my fitness, my intelligence, but how much of Christ is in me, and how much I am in Him.

There are times I grow weary and impatient in loving people. The act of kindness is still administered but the heart is changed. Sometimes, I revert back to the harsh and cynical person who distrusts sinful people, and cling on to their weaknesses to despise them.
I do not want to be nice to all peoples.

But I am called to love people and I am called to trust in my God.

Sometimes I lose my passion for the Word. I do not want to go near it, and experience the truths that are contained in it. But I have learnt how we feel about His Word is a good indication of our spiritual condition.

His Spirit will pour out love into our hearts, so we may do this unnatural behaviour of loving those who ordinarily would have never mattered to us. He will add strength to us.


Romans 5
 1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.



This period of lowness makes me uncomfortable, but also glad, to remember that I am still very far off from being the man He means me to be, so I may not be too proud.



Remembering a Friend

Today, I was moved to remember Roland. In the morning I remembered that I had not seen him for a long time since his house blessing and baby shower and thought I should pray and get in touch with him. I stored the thought and went about my business.

At church today, in the queue to receive prayer, I was staring at the worship team and suddenly was struck that the brand of the amplifier for the instruments was "ROLAND". I froze in queue for a while and the lady usher had to tap me. It became very clear that I was to remember this brother in prayer and in person.

After a swift run in the late evening, I had several thoughts after I concluded the loop. It is very good to have the mind trying to keep up with the body, and the air was pretty good at this time.
I am much less in good physical condition than in early July.
But I still am not too bugged by this, because previously I did good mostly at nothing but exercise.

To be fit and godless or fat and faithful?
To have strong flesh and weak spirit or strong spirit and weak flesh?

Which is the better choice is very clear, although this is not a premise for laziness.

*

Sometimes, I realize we believe what we want to believe and so deceive ourselves.
We need to learn to tell what is truth and invest everything in it.

It is exceedingly good to exclusively belong to somebody.

Friday, November 11, 2011

The Season of Blessing.


This is a season of blessing, but as His people, we must not be unwise but instead move into a preparation for the things to come. We are not uninformed of the days ahead, where there will be dark and difficult times.

What lessons the Lord uses to shape our person, we must learn. We are meant to be complete in Christ.

So God's blessing on me is not complete - I may not break away from Him.

*

Yesterday's fellowship was a good instance of how God gathers His people together. We had started out with 3 men who only looked to encourage and strengthen each other in our faith. The later additions were a pleasant surprise that greatly encouraged us. We did not anticipate having sisters in our group and were only looking to build the men up in faith.

Wei Qiang had heard of our gathering and was eager to join with fellow believers.

Phoebe grew aware of our gathering when I went late from our fellowship to a committee meeting and she later asked to join us. She brought 2 friends along afterward.

Terence was led to our group by the singing that we had only began to incorporate into our meeting on his way back from dinner yesterday. He shared that he realized he was led to a group of worshippers by God seeing that he was not walking so closely with Him. It was the first time everyone turned up, and although it was 8 people, bringing people together is not something a single person can do.

There are no coincidences because God is sovereign and God is powerful. While men act out of self-interest, He acts out of His love and His righteousness. So we were gathered to share, learn and pray.

When it came to sharing, I realized that my study of the Word this week was not in depth, because I was invested in the essays that occupied so much of my reading and writing.

I had only read Exodus 34, and I was wary that sharing on the character of God in the Old Testament could affect the understanding of God for believers younger in the faith.

But what I managed to share, I believe was not scripted or prepared, but prompted.

Why I shared from the Old Testament, because God is unchanging and he is the same. He was, He is, and He is to come. (NIV Bible, Revelations 4:8)

This was a point where Moses was leading the nation of Israel and in close relationship with God. And he had asked God to show him His glory.


Exodus 33

19 And the LORD said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. 20But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”


Exodus 34
 5 Then the LORD came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed his name, the LORD. 6 And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, 7 maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.

Moses' response was in verse 8.


Exodus 34
  8 Moses bowed to the ground at once and worshiped.


He is the same God, yet unlike Moses we do not know to go to Him in meekness and humility - we miss out this reverence for God, and seeing His high standards of holiness and purity that we cannot meet. He is compassionate, desiring and delighting to give grace and show mercy, slow to anger, and abounding in love and faithfulness, loving and forgiving.

The use of the word 'yet', also means that at the same time, there is no compromise between His kindness shown to all men, as well as His righteousness. Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right? (NIV Bible, Genesis 18:25)

God will not leave the wicked unpunished, because He is a righteous Judge. While He loves and shows kindness, He will deal with wickedness and with wicked people. We were previously in this category.

His love motivated Him to work salvation with His right arm and Christ Jesus provided the full payment for us who now profess and live in faith and hope in Him. Therefore we must be careful to understand God's holiness and how much and how often we go the other way in sin.

So we must repent and confess so that we may be washed clean by Christ. He who conceals their sin does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. (NIV Bible, Proverbs 28:13)
Any small stain will not do, we must deal with our sin, bringing them before God.

My sharing point (thesis) was that, we often have an improper view of God, and thus we have an inaccurate view of our own standing in relation to Him. This affects our reverence and awe for Him, and causes us to feel comfortable that we are soon measuring up to His standards. We do not fear Him as we should. We must desire more, to be clean and like Him.

We need to know Him so we may love Him and live worthily to please Him.
Where we have a proper view of God and a view of ourselves, we may know how much we need Him.

*

There is a need for me to understand what gifts do I have, so that I may function optimally where He has designed me to. It seems that whatever small gifts they may be, they are to do with learning and sharing His Word. However, I cannot be effective without having spent time in His presence.

We are a collection of different people who have been called by Him.
There are differences that only God can reconcile - He mediates between men. But Christ has mediated between us and the Father.

Can any man be fully right? And yet we do not follow men; we follow Christ.

May all believers love and protect one another. Will the sheep be in disunity? They are not, because they follow the same Shepherd, along the same way.


I am not the picture of spiritual health, but His Spirit is at work in me to clean and teach me.
I write, in addition to flaunt my depth in Scripture, also to note the events in this time that are important to me and also to edify others who may read. 


I am deeply entrenched in His Grace. This is a good place to be. 



Works Cited



Holy Bible, New International Version. East Brunswick NJ: International Bible Society, 1984. Print.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Anne Bradstreet


By Night when Others Soundly Slept 

By night when others soundly slept
And hath at once both ease and Rest,
My waking eyes were open kept
And so to lie I found it best.


I sought him whom my Soul did Love,
With tears I sought him earnestly.
He bow'd his ear down from Above.
In vain I did not seek or cry.


My hungry Soul he fill'd with Good;
He in his Bottle put my tears,
My smarting wounds washt in his blood,
And banisht thence my Doubts and fears.


What to my Saviour shall I give
Who freely hath done this for me?
I'll serve him here whilst I shall live
And Love him to Eternity.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

How may one begin to speak of the goodness and the blessings the Lord has for him? I did not expect my God to bring a girl as precious as this along at this point in time. I had not thought of myself as ready or mature, but it seems that I have been prepared for her through this time.

We must remember to be careful and to honour Him, even as we spend time together, for He is the One who weaves lives together best. We must also be careful to not take our eyes off the Lord and only look to each other, for it would grieve Him. We must all eagerly desire God's goodness for us, and trust in His deep, everlasting love for us, and concern for us.

Now I go into the time of learning to treasure, cherish and protect a sister and a daughter of our Father.

*

Over the Public Holiday, I teamed up with Zicong at the gym, and it was very good to have reunited to exercise, and see how each other has grown in the Lord over the past 3 years.

He asked me a question over lunch, on whether I was for evangelism and if I found it difficult to bring people to church.

I told him I didn't like what was being done by those who do evangelism this way, because in doing this they were selling church culture and not the Gospel.

And the church of today is far below the Biblical standard, almost powerless, and heavily impacted by the world's culture. We need to examine the state of the Christian church today, and compare it with the New Testament. Where is the power of the church to impact the community? Where is the power of the Spirit?

We must not be in a hurry to catch people. The Spirit of God is the one who prepares human hearts for the Word of God to be seeded and grown. If we move ahead of time and without wrestling in prayer, and without His Spirit, we will hinder the person.

I think our method should first be to live out the Gospel, preach the Gospel and pray. We need to disciple others.

How much of the Gospel of Christ have we really heard, and how much of the Person of Christ and the character of God do we know.

Bringing people into buildings to sit under the pulpit is of little use, if they are not hearing the gospel and seeing the power of God move in human lives.

What do we use to draw people in? Music, dancing, excitement or the Gospel?
If we give everything other than the Gospel, we are misrepresenting our Christ, for this is the only thing that is of importance. Men come to hear and know the way to be saved.


The disciples of Christ are characterized by our love for one another. It is a different and higher kind of love, that not all of us may have the strength to show. The church community needs to love all its members and practice this broad love on others who are beginning to hunger for truth. There is a need for pliable men who are submissive to God, whose lives become evidences of God's work.


People who come with improper expectations are turned away, but those who come with the genuine thirst that our God and Saviour came to satisfy will also be disappointed and go away thirsty, with no solution to their soul's panting.

We must be careful for we are dealing with human souls that He loves very much. We are accountable to Him for how we build up His people or damage the faith of others and stunt their growth.

For those brothers and sisters who are excited at the goodness of God, instead go into the Word and root yourself in truth and pray for understanding of His message of salvation, that Christ worked to bring to the world, and was promised to Abraham so long ago.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Loving Those Who Resist

My week is always a comparison between God's faithfulness and how I reciprocate His love for me with my faithful obedience. How much of my heart I give over to Him, and how much do I compartmentalize and reserve for myself?

Happiness or Joy?

I do not know any person who is happy all the time. There are moments of depression that I will fall into, but the good thing is that I will not be in it for too long. I am not allowed it seems, to be sorrowful for long before my great Comforter will soon restore to me the comfort that was promised me.


Who may comfort my troubled spirit?

God will comfort me; this is His Character. My Father loves me and He is also the God of all Comfort. He made me, and He knows what beverage I need for my thirst.

It is also wise to note that I have observed that Happiness is a feeling, whereas Joy is a state. 
And we know how short-lived feelings are. 

Grace

Building relationships takes a lot of grace. Do I have so much?

Yet I am charged to love and to be gracious, because I have known His Grace and His love. We are in the business of imitating, becoming more like Christ Jesus, so we give grace to others and love them.

Who truly understands grace? Only the greatest sinner who has received full pardon. Paul the Apostle considered himself in this category.

Who validates me? Not men, but my God and Saviour Jesus Christ.


1 Timothy 1:15-16

New International Version (NIV)

 15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.


One who is aghast at the horror of his vile sins will then understand the full measure of the pardon and appreciate the grace and hope held out for him. If I may be forgiven for these great sins, I may be confident that the One who forgave me loves me beyond my state, and my present condition.


Luke 7:46-48

New International Version (NIV)
46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.
 48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”


I think that the casual and unappreciative way Christians speak about grace shows a great lack of knowing what it is.

Grace is neither abetment nor endorsement. Grace frees and Grace empowers one for Holy living. If we truly know Grace and see the heart behind it, we will want to remain in this love and goodness and never depart into unacceptable ways again. Grace results in the ability to forgive.


I think we are vengeful creatures who long to visit others who have harmed us with malice also. But in Christ, we are a new creation, and have His Spirit to help us.

Resolution,
I am to imitate Christ, to forgive and to love those who have not loved Him and have not loved me also.  And so I will-I must, and He will pour out the strength and the love to cultivate this foreign nature that was never mine or a part of me in the first place. This love has always been from Him. 

Journaling

I do not talk about my feelings. I have only talked about my thoughts.
While I cannot remember who said this, I think it is very true-"If I should die before I wake, throw my journal in the lake."

I still want to be honest in my journal, at least for a while more, and gaining access to my writings is gaining understanding of how my mind works, how my heart feels, the contents of my soul and how my spirit is. Sharing this with another is deeply intimate, and it must be done with wisdom.

Prayer


I actually heard the most encouraging thing last evening from my non-believing buddy.
He said he knew if I were angry, I would pray one, adding a "I know him very well".
I wonder if he sees that prayer is not just self-talk, but transformative.
It is also a reminder of how dependent I am, and I must be, on prayer.



Two threads of thought came to me last night before I fell asleep:


"Of one thing I may be confident of and in, even if all else falls apart, that He has loved me with an everlasting love, and His everlasting love moves Him to care for me in every way. Who may know how dearly beloved we are to Him."


And because I know the above, I could say:


"There is nothing left to say other than 'Amen' and to go sleep."






I am not a holy man, who is so close to God that I now have an elevated standing. Rather, I am one who is conscious of Him and His standards and of how I fall short all the time. But I also am conscious of His love and His goodness and the hope held out for me. Therefore, I may live with confidence that He will be with me. 


It had been said, in the last part of Isaiah 49:23, that those who hope in the Lord will not be disappointed. Our hope is based on the Character of our God who is unchanging, whose love for us endures forever.