It is always our response and subsequent action in a hard situation that matters to God, and the response and action indicates our level of strength.
I had a poor showing in the situations I was in today and before I saw it for what it really was (my small test), and it is something I need to work on.
I forgot the basic truths I learnt and leapt into my mistakes.
It exposed my weaknesses and showed me how easily I could be swayed, and that a neglect in spending time in prayer to realign myself opened me up very quickly.
I have to get up and moving and accept correction, and keep striving to keep in step, not giving up in my striving for it is very much this that God is looking at.
I get mad easily, at silliness and at slowness. Today while getting away from SFT, my companion was so bent on getting a taxi, he wanted to walk with the supremely heavy load until he reached a junction.
Because I spent my younger years with my cousins cycling or simply walking along the stretching leading up to and beyond the Ferry Terminal, I knew that it was too far to walk and I pressed them to take Bus no. 9 with me and took some delight at highlighting my intelligence and stressing on his stupidity.
I was again hyper-aware afterward that what I felt at being right was a break from the behaviour that my faith is supposed to bring about in me.
I find surprisingly that it's easier now for me to go on doing things that I don't feel like doing, like washing an item that requires a lot of work and time while I am weary.
My mind protests at the offensive chore, but my hands and the rest of my body are already on it.
This is a useful skill, and maybe I've really built up some steel within me.
Dare I say that Army has made me disciplined and self-reliant?
I am loathe to give so much credit to them, for after all, they have endangered my health and sanity and cost me 13 pounds of mass, 4 of which I barely managed to gain back.
They starve and stress me and deprive me, and I am injured by this treatment.
But then again, this is the military and if they apply tenderness and do not expose their soldiers to discomfort, then we wouldn't be a fighting force, would we?
They probably just recalled the dormant discipline acquired in my uniformed group that I laid aside the moment I assumed a leadership role in upper secondary.
This self-reliance is mostly probably a nicer name for when I do not trust other people to do things for me and prefer to do it myself.
Because of my stint in Basic Military Training and with my particular/ peculiar company, I'm fully prepared for command school and further "ill-treatment". I have been priming myself for difficult times ahead, and will be sustained by my faith, my family and friends, the hope of a real romance, and continuous griping.
I don't like it very much, but I would carry on.
I discover I have almost adapted to being pummelled in excess with rough treatment, but I absolutely cannot stand poor planning in the aspect of programme and also the failure to lead by example.
If you are unable, or unwilling to conform to the similar requests you dole out to your men, you are not an adequate commander. Your men serve alongside you, and you need to show them that you can do what you ask of them.
Your willingness will induce their willingness to comply.
On hindsight, cooperation is more appropriate a term than compliance.
I noticed that the chain of command is also a food-chain, where the higher-ups snap at their subordinates more often than we thought.
I think that there comes a time where the truth is not believed, but thought to be a lie. Things like, "I do not have a girlfriend" or "I have never kissed a girl", or something along those lines. Try it; when you get to a certain point, you are thought to be executing a good joke.
I like to capture beauty in this space, and Allison Stokke is a good-looker, and although I am stunned when I see her, I will do well to remember that the heart being beautiful is a better prize than the surface appearance. The real indication of good health is a kind, loving and gracious heart.
She is an American pole vaulter from Orange County, California, both athletic and beautiful.
There were some people who were pretty rude toward me, I noticed. They need to have more respect for beautiful people.
God looks out for me regardless, and He gave me an extra sausage and egg at breakfast on Friday when Xiao Wei gave his hard-boiled oval brown chicken egg to me. It was important for my body to absorb good quality protein, seeing that good old nutrition is hard to come by in camp, no matter what the food people claim.
