I've sorted out the mess internally. Talking to Jesus is a fantastic solution.
Was drifting online trying to gain some eminent guidance on the problems that were common to all those that chase after God.

I'm probably gonna bore people with this 'preachy' expounding of my inner musings, but I don't really care. Not intending to sound like a saint. Though that seems like a good direction. But, hypocritical.

Realised that we are put through life as a process so that we might be ready for the finale (end times) that God has in store for us. Bits of my life that God made me live through comes together to fit into a grand plan that will mould me into the kind of person He needs to carry out His plan.

Some things came to mind.

What does following God really mean? This is a literal question and also a implication question that is worth thinking through. Jesus' said, "take up the cross and follow Me."
Are we able to do that?
We aren't able to do that right now. But God is putting us through life so that we will be able to, and not necessarily just at the end. Going through difficulties will be applicable and important at the end.

We need to talk and share our lives daily and moment by moment with Jesus and God. (Prayer).

We need to draw nearer to Jesus Christ and take on His character as our own. As the apostle Paul says, "imitate me, as I also imitate Christ". (1 Corinthians).
And in this we can glorify God and honour him if our actions and behaviours are not unbecoming.
This is a solid reason not to use the F-word.
But we have to take time to work all the unworthiness out of our life, just like how the body heals, with the exception of Claire Bennett, Peter Petrelli and Adam Monroe.

We need to love God with all our strength, and also we need to love everyone around us. The second one is the harder, I think. There are always people we dislike, can't stand being in their company and so on, loving them seems impossible. I for one, cannot stand people who are stupid, or who I think are stupider than me, and still do fiercely loathe people for things they did significantly to me years ago. And I think I have a mental list of those people. I'm not exactly loving towards them. This must change. But the problem is, I still want to slap them.

The above might not have been good English-
But anyways. Yep, we have to slowly model our lives in the way that is becoming of Christians and people of and in God, and we need to look out for other people and their interests and respect them.

I've started to cleanse my system. I hope this does have some effect on you all.
Amen.