In the spirit of giving thanks, I now see how He has worked to change my perception, my nature and my very person. It has always been Christ perfecting me. How He healed, taught and established me in faith. What makes me good, valuable or likable is not my fitness, my intelligence, but how much of Christ is in me, and how much I am in Him.

There are times I grow weary and impatient in loving people. The act of kindness is still administered but the heart is changed. Sometimes, I revert back to the harsh and cynical person who distrusts sinful people, and cling on to their weaknesses to despise them.
I do not want to be nice to all peoples.

But I am called to love people and I am called to trust in my God.

Sometimes I lose my passion for the Word. I do not want to go near it, and experience the truths that are contained in it. But I have learnt how we feel about His Word is a good indication of our spiritual condition.

His Spirit will pour out love into our hearts, so we may do this unnatural behaviour of loving those who ordinarily would have never mattered to us. He will add strength to us.


Romans 5
 ¹ Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we^[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we^[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we^[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.



This period of lowness makes me uncomfortable, but also glad, to remember that I am still very far off from being the man He means me to be, so I may not be too proud.



Remembering a Friend

Today, I was moved to remember Roland. In the morning I remembered that I had not seen him for a long time since his house blessing and baby shower and thought I should pray and get in touch with him. I stored the thought and went about my business.

At church today, in the queue to receive prayer, I was staring at the worship team and suddenly was struck that the brand of the amplifier for the instruments was "ROLAND". I froze in queue for a while and the lady usher had to tap me. It became very clear that I was to remember this brother in prayer and in person.

After a swift run in the late evening, I had several thoughts after I concluded the loop. It is very good to have the mind trying to keep up with the body, and the air was pretty good at this time.
I am much less in good physical condition than in early July.
But I still am not too bugged by this, because previously I did good mostly at nothing but exercise.

To be fit and godless or fat and faithful?
To have strong flesh and weak spirit or strong spirit and weak flesh?

Which is the better choice is very clear, although this is not a premise for laziness.

*

Sometimes, I realize we believe what we want to believe and so deceive ourselves.
We need to learn to tell what is truth and invest everything in it.

It is exceedingly good to exclusively belong to somebody.