My tally of treading water in the Reservoir hit 4 in one day.
Fu*k, I'm pissed.
The wind today was so strong, it blew the paddle out of my hand. Unbelievable. Coupled with the wave that was amplified by the speedboat and the incessant wind, it was more than enough to throw a brave but actually pitiful canoeist off his canoe and into the frigging waters. And it did. Was it the 140 pushups that paved the way for my untimely demise among the skilled?
Maybe.
I was supposed to row 6 km, i.e. up and down the reservoir 3 times. I only managed 4. The first round was splendid. I actually thought i did well. My strokes were even and brought me through really fast to the last line of buoys, my blade cutting the water smoothly. There were a few close shaves where I nearly went over, but my waist did the most of the balancing. I was almost amazed at the way I finished, sleekly into the launching point.
Then I was off on my second lap. I went strongly, staring at my Nike neoprene...having the distinct feeling of assurance, rising from something unseen...probably ignorance?
Somehow it quelled the suppressed dread that there was a sorta Loch Ness type creature lurking in the green depths of Bedok Reservoir or that some idiot released a baby crocodile into the expanse of water 10 years earlier...
I stuck my right side blade in-the wind smacked the left blade, and as levers go, it took me over the edge. Capsizing occurs always in slow-mo. I go-am I gonna cap? Oh fu-blubblubblub...I'm already in the water. And I tried to have my darling 2.08 metres paddle upright, my feet dangling below. The waves pounded and slapped me from the left so much that I gave it the back of my head to hit. I was thirsty before I went over, but then the waves made me happy, in a throaty kinda way.
XUEK and KAIR came over on their T-2 to try and get me back on my yellow TROPICAL. They failed because-well I dunno. They just failed, and the next thing, they were in the water with me. And there we were, adrift. Far from human assistory reach and frantically trying to keep together and not get snared by the unknown beastie residing in the depths.
Ahmad came over to rescue me, and I barely rowed a bit, before the waves did me in again. The wind was so strong and the waves-tall that when I was turning to face the correct side, I plooonked into greenness again...
It took a senior and an escort to get me across the third quarter line, and when he thought I was stable enough, he dashed forth.
And I went over. This time. Further and even more alone.
And I waited, and a VJC K-2 came over.
mr. frontman: Do you need help?
me: (duh, but-) Can you help me?
At this point, the bugger tries to come over but he and his comrade nearly capped twice. They couldn't come over and so-
mr. frontman: I'm sorry but we can't help you.
me: !!!???
mr. frontman: We'll help you call people to help you.
me: !!!!!??? (you frigging noobs.)
And off they went towards the launch-point. I was so riled, I laid my right hand on my canoe and towed in with my froggy kick all the way half-across. I passed 1 line of buoys. And my legs felt like they already had been eaten away. I was baring my mind to go further when this Senior came over to help. She got me up and I slowly went back to shore...
It was a lousy day and the water was choppy like hell had burst open all its fury onto this Earth when Satan's butt just got majorly kicked by the LORD GOD.
The day reaped only aches and rage. And my prior goodfeel in the water on last wednesday is almost gone. NAB! ...
BLUBBLUBBLUB...
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Eden
Whoa. I repeat, whoa.
Today was one of those days where everything was beautiful.
Morning had me looking left right and all around, before I saw this girl from Cedar's. Tie and all. Real sweet :)
Her shirt ( do we call it a blouse?) was a bit bigger and her skirt was shorter and sorta cute. Chic. I think i told XUEK that day. Her legs were really really flawless. In an appreciative sort of way.Pale and toned.
And she's in canoeing too.Hm.
Eye contact rocks. It's the only other guarantee next to the assurances that we'll all have jobs when we come out of university. That aside, this short haired girl really creeps into my visual receptors. I don't think I'll bother to plug in the optic fibres just yet.
Nombor Dua:
And there I was in the College library with my PC 4, and trying to seek purpose on the World Wide Web, and this girl from Chung Cheng High (MAIN) sat down at the next terminal. Goodness! I had a shock. She was so beautiful, I nearly leapt up. Her loveliness warrants much more from me. Her fair skin and bright eyes, and gentle but outstanding features were striking like a celestial gem in an expanse of black space. And her white uniform complemented her most exceedingly sacred beauty.
She was beautiful. And she knew it.
And she liked the way I eyed her. And ooooh baby eyed her, I did.
But couldn't help noticing her company. A crew of people so normal or unstriking, one wouldn't bloody believe it. And this guy with a black face and miles away from being charming was sticking his face next to her shoulder. Really queer.
And her little smile that came over to me saying: wow, you really do know how I feel about the bunch I've to hang around with; especially the guy who's putting his head way too near to me. Can you help me?
YES MADAM!!!! Hahaha.
I love the pretty things the Almighty sent down to this almost doomed Earth!!!
Today was one of those days where everything was beautiful.
Morning had me looking left right and all around, before I saw this girl from Cedar's. Tie and all. Real sweet :)
Her shirt ( do we call it a blouse?) was a bit bigger and her skirt was shorter and sorta cute. Chic. I think i told XUEK that day. Her legs were really really flawless. In an appreciative sort of way.Pale and toned.
And she's in canoeing too.Hm.
Eye contact rocks. It's the only other guarantee next to the assurances that we'll all have jobs when we come out of university. That aside, this short haired girl really creeps into my visual receptors. I don't think I'll bother to plug in the optic fibres just yet.
Nombor Dua:
And there I was in the College library with my PC 4, and trying to seek purpose on the World Wide Web, and this girl from Chung Cheng High (MAIN) sat down at the next terminal. Goodness! I had a shock. She was so beautiful, I nearly leapt up. Her loveliness warrants much more from me. Her fair skin and bright eyes, and gentle but outstanding features were striking like a celestial gem in an expanse of black space. And her white uniform complemented her most exceedingly sacred beauty.
She was beautiful. And she knew it.
And she liked the way I eyed her. And ooooh baby eyed her, I did.
But couldn't help noticing her company. A crew of people so normal or unstriking, one wouldn't bloody believe it. And this guy with a black face and miles away from being charming was sticking his face next to her shoulder. Really queer.
And her little smile that came over to me saying: wow, you really do know how I feel about the bunch I've to hang around with; especially the guy who's putting his head way too near to me. Can you help me?
YES MADAM!!!! Hahaha.
I love the pretty things the Almighty sent down to this almost doomed Earth!!!
Monday, January 22, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
third.
of the top 3 fighters, the first 2 were from the Gurkha Contingent Dojo.
I fell neatly below them, the first Singapore-man inside the category.
there was postively no fight with the 104 kg Gurkha when i was matched with him. His low kicks to my thigh weren't as devastating as Sempai Candy assured me. Only thing was his sheer size that kept pressing on. I went out of the mat three times on the last count, if i wasn't wrong.
And naturally, my kicks, not helped by the bulky shin guards were non-penetrating.
because the bugger was large and pushy, he won by decision...
ashamed really. was contemplating giving him a Waza-ari because i simply couldn't overpower him. come to think of it, that was totally shameful. as a fighter and a karateka. wrong...
the 3rd-4th placing match was between me and taufiq. A bit shocked really. I knew him and we've actually only sparred once seriously, where Sensei said that he had darkness, a depth to him when he sparred and he knew how to draw on that anger. For me, Sensei said i had no aggression at all.
realisation: raw aggression leaves almost no or little room for rational and logical thinking required for strategy and the detachment which is the mentality needed in a/any fight.
I went rather fierce on Taufiq, because it would be preposterous for a college yr 1 to lose to a secondary 3. my punches and kicks were heavier than those i gave in training and i know he felt them. He didn't have any chance to show his aggression partly because i think he thought he was better than me. he managed to earn an ippon over me in one training.
When i went into him, i fouled with an attempt to hit his face. with the foul and time running out, under the force of instinct, did a feint flicka and den a roundhouse to his head. The expression on his face when the blow made a loud THUACK on his side was incredible. His face was so disbelieving that i felt so guilty...
I won by Waza-ari and subsequently the 3rd place. because of my foul, i thought i lost, until i saw all four officials raise my red flag.
Not at all proud. but neither too sad. But mildly angry at myself for losing to the 104 kg Gurkha...
of the top 3 fighters, the first 2 were from the Gurkha Contingent Dojo.
I fell neatly below them, the first Singapore-man inside the category.
there was postively no fight with the 104 kg Gurkha when i was matched with him. His low kicks to my thigh weren't as devastating as Sempai Candy assured me. Only thing was his sheer size that kept pressing on. I went out of the mat three times on the last count, if i wasn't wrong.
And naturally, my kicks, not helped by the bulky shin guards were non-penetrating.
because the bugger was large and pushy, he won by decision...
ashamed really. was contemplating giving him a Waza-ari because i simply couldn't overpower him. come to think of it, that was totally shameful. as a fighter and a karateka. wrong...
the 3rd-4th placing match was between me and taufiq. A bit shocked really. I knew him and we've actually only sparred once seriously, where Sensei said that he had darkness, a depth to him when he sparred and he knew how to draw on that anger. For me, Sensei said i had no aggression at all.
realisation: raw aggression leaves almost no or little room for rational and logical thinking required for strategy and the detachment which is the mentality needed in a/any fight.
I went rather fierce on Taufiq, because it would be preposterous for a college yr 1 to lose to a secondary 3. my punches and kicks were heavier than those i gave in training and i know he felt them. He didn't have any chance to show his aggression partly because i think he thought he was better than me. he managed to earn an ippon over me in one training.
When i went into him, i fouled with an attempt to hit his face. with the foul and time running out, under the force of instinct, did a feint flicka and den a roundhouse to his head. The expression on his face when the blow made a loud THUACK on his side was incredible. His face was so disbelieving that i felt so guilty...
I won by Waza-ari and subsequently the 3rd place. because of my foul, i thought i lost, until i saw all four officials raise my red flag.
Not at all proud. but neither too sad. But mildly angry at myself for losing to the 104 kg Gurkha...
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
i want to tear me and my space out of time, into oblivion.
where i would be untouched and unaffected by everything else around.
The issue today in KI on time quandries and on the creation of the world are much more than overwhelming. My mind is driven into so many directions, i no longer know if i'm rational or otherwise. The possibilities(endless) are prodding me so near to malady.
Nothing is absolute. The two sides to a freaking story are driving me nuts.
i'm gonna say that in a mocking tone: "only the Sith deals in absolutes"
Show him the finger dammit.
The sonofabitch weather is wrecking havoc on the progression of life according to the normalcy that i would like. I'm turning fanatically perfectionist. e.g. while i was ironing my school pants, it took me 5 mins to align the lines i carved out with the hot iron together and then took another 5 mins to drape it over my red clothes-hanger.
Anyways. The SOAB is not helping things, the way screwed up they are...
My Billabong bag is soiled from the last rainfall on Fri, and i can't wash it as soon as I would like. goddammit. and my ACG Nikes is still smarting from the same Friday that hurt my Billy. Nab. Poured Johnson's and Johnson's over it in the hope to improve the smell.
Have to wear it tomorrow. How cheerful. -.-
i have a verdict: well... the fan is blowing at my shoes now...
I hate the feeling of helplessness. I'm a male. Its in our blood.
Our influence should be all-powerful and dominant and we should be in control. I'd like to be in absolute control. And it's not happening. And there's this SOAB heaviness in my chest area. Man I hate losing grip. Even just loosening my hold on anything for a lil while. I realised that i can't stand everything being disorganized. Sweet. and things are moving in a way that is very agitating...i have a verdict: run away.
And with Miss Y, the meekness of one pivotal character has effectively, and almost assuredly thwarted the possibilities of a bliss-filled outcome. Period. Or maybe half a period. I have a verdict: listen to dan the man.
Saturday nears.
My ticket to Japan. I must win. I mean, competing in a category with boys my age and about the same stature...what are my chances?
I can only amuse myself with the instances I spent training in combat with the people there and the words they offered. Very uplifting.
But influential? Ah. It all comes down to whether i woke up sweetly on that day? And what is the probability of that happening? Considering the fact that there is a parade on that day, a training the previous day and a lousy week at college...I can't come up with much.
Sincerely hoping that can catapult up with this tournament.
The first(of many, I hope).
i have a verdict: i need to fantasize and stock up on Red Bull.
...
where i would be untouched and unaffected by everything else around.
The issue today in KI on time quandries and on the creation of the world are much more than overwhelming. My mind is driven into so many directions, i no longer know if i'm rational or otherwise. The possibilities(endless) are prodding me so near to malady.
Nothing is absolute. The two sides to a freaking story are driving me nuts.
i'm gonna say that in a mocking tone: "only the Sith deals in absolutes"
Show him the finger dammit.
The sonofabitch weather is wrecking havoc on the progression of life according to the normalcy that i would like. I'm turning fanatically perfectionist. e.g. while i was ironing my school pants, it took me 5 mins to align the lines i carved out with the hot iron together and then took another 5 mins to drape it over my red clothes-hanger.
Anyways. The SOAB is not helping things, the way screwed up they are...
My Billabong bag is soiled from the last rainfall on Fri, and i can't wash it as soon as I would like. goddammit. and my ACG Nikes is still smarting from the same Friday that hurt my Billy. Nab. Poured Johnson's and Johnson's over it in the hope to improve the smell.
Have to wear it tomorrow. How cheerful. -.-
i have a verdict: well... the fan is blowing at my shoes now...
I hate the feeling of helplessness. I'm a male. Its in our blood.
Our influence should be all-powerful and dominant and we should be in control. I'd like to be in absolute control. And it's not happening. And there's this SOAB heaviness in my chest area. Man I hate losing grip. Even just loosening my hold on anything for a lil while. I realised that i can't stand everything being disorganized. Sweet. and things are moving in a way that is very agitating...i have a verdict: run away.
And with Miss Y, the meekness of one pivotal character has effectively, and almost assuredly thwarted the possibilities of a bliss-filled outcome. Period. Or maybe half a period. I have a verdict: listen to dan the man.
Saturday nears.
My ticket to Japan. I must win. I mean, competing in a category with boys my age and about the same stature...what are my chances?
I can only amuse myself with the instances I spent training in combat with the people there and the words they offered. Very uplifting.
But influential? Ah. It all comes down to whether i woke up sweetly on that day? And what is the probability of that happening? Considering the fact that there is a parade on that day, a training the previous day and a lousy week at college...I can't come up with much.
Sincerely hoping that can catapult up with this tournament.
The first(of many, I hope).
i have a verdict: i need to fantasize and stock up on Red Bull.
...
Monday, January 15, 2007
today-the fifteenth day of the first month of the twenty-hundred and seventh year after Christ Jesus was born-was in all a rotten day that would render anyone(of course in this case, me) scowling once they've been through it all.
lets see...homework-undone; biology-frankly, on the homework part, there's already been compromise, and since homework and understanding share a certain correlation, i understand fairly much nothing; canoeing-after glancing(ok more than once) at the newfound biceps after just one Friday, i'm planning to stick with it. But hell, i've a tournament coming on saturday and tournament and fierce training don't go hand in hand in the week leading up to the big day. And now, i've somehow sidelined canoeing, even though my pores are screaming for the 100 push-ups and 3 km run.
Timetabling is bull.Everyday ends definitely after 4 and by the time i earn the privilege to enter the threshold of my humble abode, i;m spent. I resent that. my eyes are a squint now. Issuing beams of hate and anger and pretty much everything that brings along with it the heinous heart disease. (sidetrack: I realised that a lot of buggers die in their sleep. Young, not-so-young-but-still-quite-young, and the fit and very fit ones too. Unknown heart defect eh. Dreadful.)
and today, at the side gate of tampjc, while i was waiting for dan, i met my prospective canoeing seniors. The J2s. the first guy who said hi was a short but lean guy. He probably remembered me cos they perceived me to be highly enthused and i was running directly behind him and was adding to the atmosphere with a whole waffle of elegant baloney(=crap). His brudder saw that my left collar had two pins. One was the 75th Anniversary Button Hole badge and the other was the Founder's Collar pin. And so he saw and his face turned sorta like-when-you-see-the-girl-you-like-holding-hands-with-another-guy kinda nasty look.
He: why are u wearing the founder's pin.
(for God's sake, its called the FOUNDER'S COLLAR PIN BADGE, you A-hole)
me: ?
He: I think its ridiculous.
me: ! What coy u frm.
He: 49th.
me: @#$^$!
(I was shocked and speechless:nab!I spilled my guts over and over again for four years and you say that to my face!?I-)
Ridiculous!? I've been having that badge on my collar since August 2006, and it was on me when i went through the entire O-freaking-levels, you sonofaGODforsakenedfemalecaninewithsaggytitties.
It was on me when I wore that faded white uniform and it stays on me with my uniform.
Like-who the hell are you!? Especially the effing fortyniners!What-best coy and you earn the right to come and bark up this tree? I've seen the whole lot of you-weak,fat inbeciles who are actually quitters and nasty trickters(i haven't, and i believe wilson hasn't either on how you tricked us during NBQ). who can't take a little canoeing session and leave thereafter.
And just because you're an Old Boy you can point at me and say i can't display my four years of work by having a small bronze bit of metal smaller than my thumb on my shirt collar?
Go eff yourself.
The Founder's Badge is something i never dared to dream of, and when it came to me after all my work, its something im proud of and some mothereffing bugger comes arnd to diss me off by labelling a little adornment on my uniform to be "ridiculous".
Go eff yourself.
I wonder if he's in the canoeing lot. He'll get it from me, that i promise. Motherf*****.Scum.
That aside, at least from this day, there remains one strand of thing i find cheerful.
HER. I don't know her name. Yes-that happens, goddamit. Lazy to go arnd and find out. (that happens, all you symphathisers). CHIJ St Nicks.
Hmmm. I only realised she's the one I've been sharing a ride to school with. (public transport, actually.) Her with her delightful earrings and hair with a bit of wild-looking ponytail. Swooning. She was also at the canoeing tryout. goodness, her smile looked good. More than good man-I keep inclining my head at her, trying to keep it discreet.
I think the Chinese language has a term for what she looks like, but i'm not able to produce that in chinese characters though.
And when ever she laughed at what i said in the water, my goodfeel bloats up. My goodness. Can't hold on to so much joy.
And in tampjc, a place so huge, with so many variations in the timetables( obviously we're in different CGs), it's amazing how can you meet anyone familiar unless you sms that foo to hook up with him/her. And it must be a designated meeting point too! And i have no idea how i manage to see her what-3times today.
1) While entering the Courtyard-her bright blue uniform and her features leapt out at me. i love the eye contact. was too far to say something-anything. A wink would have missed and fallen harmfully onto another girl.
2) At the school canteen-she was hovering around the place i sat with her girlfriends. i like the look of gentle recognition on her face.
3) Outside the general office-both looking at the Chinese class allocation. she was there, and completely heading in a different direction. I turned to talk to my buddy and when i turned again, she breezed past me, instead of taking a path with a vast open space, she took the one between me and the small corridor. Dammit.
I'm charmed. I must say, stop it girl.
The words-"i want to make you mine" no longer seem cliche or corny. They're apt.
No longer angry now. At least can't be while she's Queen over my thoughts, and still reigning.
Can almost visualise her with a crown and all. Beautiful.
I do so much want to feel your warmth beside me on the cold bus that turns from our street into the surge of traffic. And I can draw you close when you tell me you feel the cold. And we drive the cold away, and share laughs at the wisps of fading icy tendrils that you say are beautiful.
lets see...homework-undone; biology-frankly, on the homework part, there's already been compromise, and since homework and understanding share a certain correlation, i understand fairly much nothing; canoeing-after glancing(ok more than once) at the newfound biceps after just one Friday, i'm planning to stick with it. But hell, i've a tournament coming on saturday and tournament and fierce training don't go hand in hand in the week leading up to the big day. And now, i've somehow sidelined canoeing, even though my pores are screaming for the 100 push-ups and 3 km run.
Timetabling is bull.Everyday ends definitely after 4 and by the time i earn the privilege to enter the threshold of my humble abode, i;m spent. I resent that. my eyes are a squint now. Issuing beams of hate and anger and pretty much everything that brings along with it the heinous heart disease. (sidetrack: I realised that a lot of buggers die in their sleep. Young, not-so-young-but-still-quite-young, and the fit and very fit ones too. Unknown heart defect eh. Dreadful.)
and today, at the side gate of tampjc, while i was waiting for dan, i met my prospective canoeing seniors. The J2s. the first guy who said hi was a short but lean guy. He probably remembered me cos they perceived me to be highly enthused and i was running directly behind him and was adding to the atmosphere with a whole waffle of elegant baloney(=crap). His brudder saw that my left collar had two pins. One was the 75th Anniversary Button Hole badge and the other was the Founder's Collar pin. And so he saw and his face turned sorta like-when-you-see-the-girl-you-like-holding-hands-with-another-guy kinda nasty look.
He: why are u wearing the founder's pin.
(for God's sake, its called the FOUNDER'S COLLAR PIN BADGE, you A-hole)
me: ?
He: I think its ridiculous.
me: ! What coy u frm.
He: 49th.
me: @#$^$!
(I was shocked and speechless:nab!I spilled my guts over and over again for four years and you say that to my face!?I-)
Ridiculous!? I've been having that badge on my collar since August 2006, and it was on me when i went through the entire O-freaking-levels, you sonofaGODforsakenedfemalecaninewithsaggytitties.
It was on me when I wore that faded white uniform and it stays on me with my uniform.
Like-who the hell are you!? Especially the effing fortyniners!What-best coy and you earn the right to come and bark up this tree? I've seen the whole lot of you-weak,fat inbeciles who are actually quitters and nasty trickters(i haven't, and i believe wilson hasn't either on how you tricked us during NBQ). who can't take a little canoeing session and leave thereafter.
And just because you're an Old Boy you can point at me and say i can't display my four years of work by having a small bronze bit of metal smaller than my thumb on my shirt collar?
Go eff yourself.
The Founder's Badge is something i never dared to dream of, and when it came to me after all my work, its something im proud of and some mothereffing bugger comes arnd to diss me off by labelling a little adornment on my uniform to be "ridiculous".
Go eff yourself.
I wonder if he's in the canoeing lot. He'll get it from me, that i promise. Motherf*****.Scum.
That aside, at least from this day, there remains one strand of thing i find cheerful.
HER. I don't know her name. Yes-that happens, goddamit. Lazy to go arnd and find out. (that happens, all you symphathisers). CHIJ St Nicks.
Hmmm. I only realised she's the one I've been sharing a ride to school with. (public transport, actually.) Her with her delightful earrings and hair with a bit of wild-looking ponytail. Swooning. She was also at the canoeing tryout. goodness, her smile looked good. More than good man-I keep inclining my head at her, trying to keep it discreet.
I think the Chinese language has a term for what she looks like, but i'm not able to produce that in chinese characters though.
And when ever she laughed at what i said in the water, my goodfeel bloats up. My goodness. Can't hold on to so much joy.
And in tampjc, a place so huge, with so many variations in the timetables( obviously we're in different CGs), it's amazing how can you meet anyone familiar unless you sms that foo to hook up with him/her. And it must be a designated meeting point too! And i have no idea how i manage to see her what-3times today.
1) While entering the Courtyard-her bright blue uniform and her features leapt out at me. i love the eye contact. was too far to say something-anything. A wink would have missed and fallen harmfully onto another girl.
2) At the school canteen-she was hovering around the place i sat with her girlfriends. i like the look of gentle recognition on her face.
3) Outside the general office-both looking at the Chinese class allocation. she was there, and completely heading in a different direction. I turned to talk to my buddy and when i turned again, she breezed past me, instead of taking a path with a vast open space, she took the one between me and the small corridor. Dammit.
I'm charmed. I must say, stop it girl.
The words-"i want to make you mine" no longer seem cliche or corny. They're apt.
No longer angry now. At least can't be while she's Queen over my thoughts, and still reigning.
Can almost visualise her with a crown and all. Beautiful.
I do so much want to feel your warmth beside me on the cold bus that turns from our street into the surge of traffic. And I can draw you close when you tell me you feel the cold. And we drive the cold away, and share laughs at the wisps of fading icy tendrils that you say are beautiful.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
first impressions
Something made me blog all over again.
I think the cyber world needs young adults that spell english words properly and so, i'm assuming the vacant or wanted position. Though we all can't say its what I think that made this major shift in me...
That, nevertheless, isn't any thing worthy of scrutinity.
But what I do need is a skillful designer...YES! I do need a skillful designer...
I think the cyber world needs young adults that spell english words properly and so, i'm assuming the vacant or wanted position. Though we all can't say its what I think that made this major shift in me...
That, nevertheless, isn't any thing worthy of scrutinity.
But what I do need is a skillful designer...YES! I do need a skillful designer...
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