I will not always have something edifying to share, though I must be careful so my personal expression may not harm the faith of any persons. 

None of this life is easy, but some things are harder than others. I would like to be doing well in all areas or at least give off the projection that I am, but looking like you are doing well uses up too much effort-energy I do not have. 

A year ago today, I was in Hendon Camp, feeling extremely sorrowful because my friends were ORD-ing and I did not have the chance to say goodbye to them because I was in airborne training. I eventually went back to my office on a Sunday and saw their Post-It messages on my wall, bidding me goodbye. 

This means that I have been an Army Regular for over a year, and I look back to wonder if I had made the best/right choice, in staying on with the force. I certainly wondered then, when my friends left service for good. 

I see that I was able to do so many additional things in the later part of the year, beyond the 1 Year 10 Month expiry date, and took on assignments, activities that friends envied. Although my decision-making was not made with complete acknowledgement of the Lord, He has been gracious in my placement and my predicament.  

However, I'm growing surer that everything in this life must be based on Biblical principles. How we live and why we live must be in obedience and conformity to Christ. He has redeemed us from wickedness for Himself. Our lives are not our own independent ones, but lived most to the fullest through submission and trust in our God. 

 

The areas of doubt and vexation are new and heavy, but I need to continually acknowledge that my God has sovereignty over me, and that I must be in line with His Word, and that His will be done, on earth as it is in heaven, and especially in, on, through my person. 

While I am unsettled and in some distress, I know what to hold on to, and where my strength and my life comes from. My God is trustworthy, even while men may not be believed easily. 

I believe, the powerful Word of God is a powerful authority. We must be as faithful to it as possible. We do not allow so much room for modern culture or changed times to affect the principles and recommendations the apostles imparted and made to the early church. 

Must the Gospel be reinvented or re-represented to be relevant to our very much "advanced" society? I do not think we are advanced at all, in the spiritual sense. Rather our civilisation's improvements give room for more wickedness and godlessness. We may not say that now society and culture is different, so we take/use the Word differently.

If anything, we are more godless today and our human strengths has increased our pride. We stand on our own independence and intelligence now. God is not necessary. We are progressive, but we are more destructive. The Word however, is still accurate about the condition of men even today. 

I am still vexed, but I will need to continue exercising my trust and dependence on Him, and wait upon Him to direct my paths. He has been good and faithful to me. I am to put my confidence and hope in Him.