I fear it is overkill to write again on a consecutive day following yesterday's heavy dose of Song Leng. But Song Leng is extremely beneficial for health. Have some more.

A gruelling run that I conned, bribed and coaxed myself into has chased away some of the moodiness. Ten minutes of severe discomfort on the pavement. Last week's run on the same route was terrible because I was slow and wearied. Pushed harder today to sprint more and faster and put more into the session, because it would be the last sliver of opportunity for me to run.

Pre-U Sem and Competition will fill up the weekend and rob me of time well spent.
Hence, I headed out to run.

I love and hate running. Running brings you close to your weaknesses and when you ditch them you feel on top of the world, but before the sweet endorphins that gives you the 'runner's high' kicks in, you feel endless discomfort. But it's primal and the best form of exercise ever.

Run lor.

We probably shouldn't be afraid to take the first step. But when we take out the first step, we have to finish the distance.

I'm thinking more and more about my current way of life and comparing this year and last, where it seems that we got shifted into the next time without our consciousness adapting.
This time next year, I'll inherit new concerns in a new place and new agonies, and I will be looking back in the same light I have now.
So if I can anticipate my reminiscing, I should steer my life right now, so that I will do better at things and craft nicer credentials.

I was going to write 'the future' above, but I didn't.
Don't like the gravity of the words and also because the future is scary.
Not monster-scary, but unknown scary like the darkness.

Moving on, I hear happiness is just an illusion.
I think I agree. It's not that it's not real, but that it's so fleeting that so after, it's not there anymore. You no longer am sure if it ever was there.

Anyway, happiness has no relation with contentment, because I believe that there isn't such a thing as contentment either.

Was I ever happy? Are you happy?

This is a veiled message to an unknown person:
I presume I'm a bad guy and am severely detestable to you.
Am I bothered to change any of it?
Currently no.

I'm not that brilliant anyway. I hate show-offs even though I am one; I do not do my homework that often and I am verbally uncouth most times. Ample reason to turn against me.

So hate me.
I bet it's hard though, and I blame my other qualities.

I will leave something here about liking a person.
Sometimes we don't have to be with our special someone. All we want to do is to capture a picture of her and freeze it in our minds and hold on to it for as long as we can.
Contentment? Maybe.

I'm treating my blog like a pensieve. But I have the stinking feeling that something has not come out of me and landed here in the form of thin black pixels.

If I like you, I will take you aside and tell you.

Signs are unreliable. Waiting is disgusting.