Feelings are unrealiable, and if I base decisions and actions by how I feel at the moment, I am setting myself up for either regret, disaster or both.

The fuzzy feeling which I thought I had and I like, and we popularly call love is a misnomer. Yet many people rush into big things like marriage on basis of such feelings, and then wonder how come the amazing thing they had going on before fell apart.

I am more aware that I'm looking for that feeling all over again, looking to be satisfied with some kind of flare that will light up for a bit, but will short out later.

I'm hoping that there might be a female that will captivate, entrance me and occupy all of my thoughts and fill up my waking-sleeping moments.

And I realise quickly that this is wrong and should not be the case.
I should not be exalting a woman to the status of a goddess, and have her take hold of all my thoughts, occupying the highest position in my life no matter how desirable she is.

And our definition of desirable is a faulty human one. When the virtuous woman is placed next to the vixen, temptress our fiercely wild hearts inclines towards the second woman.

In the second woman, she has the flavour of animality and that the base, carnal man wants-I will begin to quote C.S. Lewis-she is the "type which he desires brutally, and desires to desire brutally, a type best used to draw him away from marriage altogether but which even within marriage, he would tend to treat as a slave, an idol, or an accomplice".

The woman is very precious, and all the pornography and the flaunting of sexuality in the media simply devalues her, as well as BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) turns her into an object in which we expend all our lust.

This ugliness appeals to us as erotic and causes our hearts to leap, which in rare moments of sanity and clear vision should really be recognized for being gross and evil.

I have this kind of blindness as well.

I am sure that the evil one seriously hates women and thus devalues, demeans and disfigures her in this manner. His attacks on her aims at reducing her from her status as the crowning glory of her husband, to an ugly animal.

Proverbs 12:4

A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

1 Corinthians 11:7
A man ought not to cover his head since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.

Our definition of desirable and of beauty must be applied to character and nature and not the outward-the physical and the carnal.

*

C.S. Lewis really has a brilliant mind, and is gifted by God with a good grasp of Theology. I dare not hold him up to be supremely accurate, but his writings are learned and helpful.

He may not be fully accurate about Christian doctrine, and I would be mistaken also, but we who depend on God to reveal, teach and correct us are not given grace on account of how well we understand the difficult things, but on our attitude and obedience.

It is the weak, meek, helpless and defenseless and lost sheep that the Shepherd came back to herd and add to His flock; when He declares us worthy and acceptable, we are and while we are mistaken, divided or in conflict about matters of teaching we must be focused on Christ, on love and on being humble and submissive to correction.

I have not fully learned this yet.

If your feeling is selfish, or selfishness is mixed up in some of it, then it isn't love.

Love isn't a feeling, or a whim. It is something noble and great that is missing in us or mostly fractured. God uses our whole life to teach us to love.

In Marriage, we learn to love our partners and absorb their imperfections; in Parenting, we learn more about God's nurturing and sustenance and self-less, almost always sacrificial-giving that we pay back with low gratitude.

*

I'm riding/writing on fumes of indignation, because my mother suggested in a tone I loathe, that I lack discernment in my choice of friends.

In some areas, my mother knows what I am like, but as to what goes on inside my head, or how I think and make considerations she has little understanding.

I think it isn't fitting that my dear mother doesn't get how my mind works, and I feel that it is inappropriate that your mother has poor idea of how you think and what you think about.

It is even more dire that we as children, have close to no idea what our mothers' thoughts are occupied by.

But while we bridge this break, we must also try hard to understand how our mothers think and work, because while we are very concerned with mostly ourselves, their concern expands to include us.

I just realised my indignation has vanished. Writing for me now is a therapeutic process that leads to a satisfactory outcome, especially if I add reflecting into the mix.



Utah's rainbow bridge; I wanted to put a rainbow here, but thought that this was even more of a visual treat.

*

Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis is a big book (although it's small) which once you've had the patience to read through slowly, will strengthen your understanding of the Christian faith and the gospel.

The Screwtape Letters is a satire which pokes fun at the devil and amuses but has depth and still educates, never mind it having dramatised the way minor devils try to intercept the progress of a young, shaky Christian male.

I know this even more acutely-my life must be spent in being aligned to Christ and it must be one of steady obedience.

We are called to walk on water, out of our familiar steadiness to reach toward Him, in doing what our minds perceive as impossible. And when we stumble, He takes hold of us and steadies us equipping us with what we need to triumph the common 'impossible'.

The storms and wind buffet us, but so long as we fix our eyes on Jesus, we will not fall.

God is operating inside of me, and even if it is painful, I am convinced it is for my good.

God is working in my family and I am thankful for His faithfulness, and for renewing and strengthening my family.

Forgive me if I've been uninteresting-these are the things I feel compelled to say, even though most of me think an apology to my readers is unnecessary.

There are many times while I am training that I wish I could somehow capture, retain, bottle up the moment and/or the view that is laid before me.

The jokes and the laughs are wonderful, but their quality and familiarity fades as time goes on, and there is little allowance to hold on to them.

I have forgotten a great deal of things, and I pray that when I have a quiet moment, God will remind me of the things that matter.

*

When I lean back and try to ignore the sandflies, I look out for the crescent moon.

During field camp, I looked to the moon-"the lesser light" according to Scripture-as my lamp; because in the expansive darkness, which can be severely unsettling even for myself, my lighter and the flickering blue line of my torch is useless.

For me the moon brings comfort, and is a firm reminder of God being close, real, and with me.

Under the moon, I prayed together with Ryan and Solomon, and I am grateful for God's arrangement in having them with me, in giving me Christian support.

I also learnt that prayer is suitable for all times and we must not stall in consulting God.

I prayed that my week would be one which God would be actively involved in, and He answered out of His loving mercy, providing me with numerous blessings that would seem ordinary if I were not paying attention.

I need to appreciate the things God has arranged in my favour, that I do not know of.

Our need for our mothers is so strong. On a long trip, she will be the one we miss first; and hers is the voice that will still us when we are unsettled, her food will be the most satisfying, and her care will be most complete.

When I viewed Spielberg's "Saving Private Ryan", it doesn't surprise me that the mortally wounded soldiers are baying for their mothers, because it is the comforting love from their mothers that they received right from they were nursed and up to even beyond adulthood that they desperately need.

I believe we'll never be weaned off this reliance on our mothers.

The handphone is a luxury item, that I found myself craving for even though I supposed I was fine without it. In increasing our comfort, we subscribe to peculiar habits.

I keep my sketchbook, which is my prayer journal, gym log and thoughts-book all in one close-by, and scribble on it whenever something comes to me.

I know my friend wears his shirt from home to sleep, and I think it's a way he can mimic the comfort from there.

I am very hasty this weekend and must slow down, but I cannot seem to.

My sister provided the push for me to post, saying that staving off writing would blunt my wit, because the Army suspends your intellect.

I've learned experientially several things from the past 2 weeks, and the first of which was that:
Striving for comfort is foolish; becoming indifferent to discomfort is key.

The next that I posit would be that: only joint progress i.e. in a team is valid.

I was accurate in predicting that Field Camp would be horrid, but it exceeded even those expectations I had.
But I grew even though the conditions were unfriendly and though it was by far the worst week I had lived through, it was one that was very important to my person.

I discovered that my mental strength was found wanting, and that I was not as tough as I supposed I was.

*
But all in all, I discovered that God was faithful and stedfast, and so very near. He comforted and counselled me in my distress and He provided me with support from fellow Christians around me right there in the field and strengthened me.
He fed me when I was hungry and he gave me down time when I was ill.
He had me meet my friends from Karate on Friday, which I was hoping to but thought I missed.

I must learn to recognize and appreciate His numerous blessings.

I am still learning to slow down and listen to Him, and behave the way He leads me to, in being patient and gentle, and not brusque or brash which is the typical Song Leng-fashion.

I discovered that my need for Him is so great, that apart from Him, I can do nothing.
He is in us, He is with us, and in Him, only in Him we are strong. Are we with Him?

It was with this I held onto throughout the past week-
Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:11-12

I am pleased with this book-out because I procured a new cell-phone, and added to my small library of Christian literature C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity and The Screwtape Letters.

I cooked and savoured my dish of pork chops,
managed to go to the gym,
and then caught a movie with my beloved Derek.

I met friends whom I wanted to see but couldn't, and sat and talked with them, almost like I used to.
Can I say I have not lived under His blessing?

*
In reflecting, I must constantly ask myself who is Jesus to me? (1)
Have I grown in the past month, and have I learnt? (2)

Good and bad things happen to me; do they propel me towards God? (3)

Do I mock Christ by continuing in, and to sin, or because of His love for me, throw myself fully onto Him? (4)

*
On another note, I find that real love is not concerned with beauty.
Love does not mind, but instead it takes in and encompasses all offences and gives back affection, care and everything good.

I realize that parents are often distinguished by their children.
I'm pleasantly surprised because Christ wins glory for His Father.

The Christian life is one of vigilance and obedience.
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
(Mark 14:38)

While many times I do not feel like, when I am neither awake or energized, I must pursue God.

I must not give in to my selfish desires and sin, but instead stay guarded, conscious and sensitive to their destructiveness.

Lastly, in my pro-Christian writings, I do not aim to bruise, but instead seek to freely express my beliefs about Divinity. Pray, do not take offense at my words but consider their validity.

I made a list of the things I was going to do on my first ever book-out, and I'm pretty pleased that I actually got to do some of them.

I wanted a massage badly throughout the whole of the confinement period while in-camp, because I hoped it will relieve the sorenesss I've accumulated over time and unknot the tense muscles from the routines they put us through, seeing that we have great workloads but less recovery time.

This is one bit I'm pretty disgruntled about; where we are given high workload and minimal allowance for rest. This coupled with the higher temperatures on the island, it's no wonder people with weaker constitution fall sick.

I still have not gotten my massage, but I have about half a day left, and if God permits I will be able to swing by the place, which I heard was in Tampines.


Sleep at my own discretion was something I missed also, seeing that it was a decree that said we had to wake up by 0530, except for one day where there was a turnout the night before. And it seems that they've already succeeded in hammering this into me, because I've been waking up around 0500 for the past two nights.

I've had no trouble getting to sleep though and now that so much sleep is a rare treat, I seize it properly.


The gymnasium was a place I missed, and I was fretting about the loss of strength, muscle and form after more than 20 days without lifting weights.

But God was gracious, and I pretty much completed all the movements I set out to.
(Image Credits, Google.)
The traditional Bench Press;



A new power movement that worked the Upper Posterior chain-the Dumbbell Snatch;



The almighty Squat;




And the Barbell Romanian Deadlift-to-Bent-over Row.




I remember saying I favour big, compound movements that engage multiple muscles and body parts and involve big weights. They boost my ego and assure me of measurable progress.

And then I rushed over to meet my movie buddy Nawal, to impress her with my bald head and also to blaze through two great movies which I'd been wanting to catch since the day before I enlisted.

Looking forward to our movie date was one of the main things that kept me sane, apart from my faith, and it was real good to see Nawal after 2 excruciating weeks. She's been a real good friend, and when I'm talking to her, she makes me want to tell her everything.
Perhaps she is a mutant with the power of persuasion?

Wolverine: Origins was a typical action movie for me, that although was really cool and all, but pretty much forgettable in terms of action, the fight sequences were good though and there were some nice jokes. But at least it answered Wolverine's memory loss satisfactory.

17 again was a chick flick, but deep down, I am a royal sucker for chick flicks like this, where the dose of romance severely infected me. Even Nawal who I think watched the movie only cause I wanted to was pleasantly surprised.

I like and enjoyed all of it (I will stop short of saying I loved it, to avoid putting my masculinity into question), and I grew fonder of Zac Efron, although I noted that his character still has some residual from High School Musical-the dancing, basketball and some lines.

I would say this flick isn't just for lovestruck adolescents who believe their little trysts are the real thing. It's also for middle-aged couples, who've been married long enough for them to forget why and how they met, grew to love each other and then get married in the first place.

I want to see it again, at least until I am desensitised to it.

*

I've been prompted to summon the inner cynic that I keep stowed away deep within me, and will proceed to offend certain people.

I have a great lack of empathy for vegetarians, mostly with those people who choose to become one 'for health reasons'. It is neither nutritionally nor medically sound and if we look at vegetarians, their physique and constitution is often poorer than the others.
It is ridiculous to assert that vegetable-only meals will clean out your system.

Not everyone is like Daniel, who could eat only greens and have a brighter complexion than everyone else.

Once again, my lack of patience and tolerance is glaring.

The other laughable reason is to uphold and secure animal rights.
Firstly, you are staging your protest on so small a scale that it has virtually no impact on the rest of the world. By one person not eating meat, this has no bearing on everyone else.
Less for you, more for me, we say. And the same number of animals are still being culled.

You are being an inactive, reserved activist, and that is really amusing.
You believe that your stand is a lost cause, and as long as you yourself do not partake of the bloodbath, your conscience is safe-kept and you are an elegant non-barbarian.

Next, I find the argument for animal rights to be absurd. What sort of rights should they get anyway? Should we have them herded into the booths on Election Day and let them decide who runs the country, since this 'right' is also awarded to some pig-headed biped?

Are ants and cockroaches equal to the elephant or the horse? Can it be that they have different value to us, while on one hand we hold that animal are just like us-equalityequalityequality, and then we call the pests experts when we have an infestation problem.

What gives you the right to decide which animals are of greater worth?
Could it be that we only give a damn about the animals that serve us well or are extremely useful, and slight those that are damaging, repulsive or can't be eaten, or are simply all these things.

Animal rights? You probably need to reexamine your superficial ideals.

*
It's disgusting that above I display how un-Christ-like and intolerant I am, and how I discredit the gospel with my poor showing, but I pray that God will give me patience because I have none; I pray He will give me love because I have little; and I ask that in my petition, He will remember me in my weakness and add strength and wisdom to me.

Justice is like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

The T.Rex has really short arms, as seen from the picture above, and what I'm hitting at is that Justice has the same limited reach. My cell phone got stolen last Saturday and I felt even more acutely how helpless we all are when the offense is unanticipated and unseen.

I'm also thinking that our law enforcement is now reduced to tackling domestic disputes and petty mischiefs, and they may have acquired a dangerous contentment.

I disbelief in the low crime rate.

I would think that there is just a low occurence of serious crimes like arson, murder and the like.

Thefts, burglary, fraud happen all the time, and this offsets the assumption that we are a safe and secure society.

It's just that the threats aren't big enough, and the petty crimes that are still offenses don't get much exposure.

Hence I wait for God's righteousness to come again.

Romans 12: 19-21

19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

My favourite exercise in the weights room is the Wide-grip Deadlift.

It hits your upper back, your quadriceps and glutes, and is still largely a deadlift, that works your hips, erector spinae and core. It builds good posture and also the lower body.

It makes you feel like a big, strong man also.

I'm in favour of exercises that recruit more muscle and involve heavy weights, because there is greater potential for growth and increase in strength.

The stimulus is huge; the corresponding growth is huger.

My workouts now strive to always contain the Deadlift and Squat, and even out the Push/Pull movements.

1 Push exercise

1 Pull Exercise

Squat/Deadlift

I've ditched the vanity exercises like bicep curls and the juvenile mistakes I acquired when I started out, and I now feel a mixed pity and scorn for new juveniles who are now making the identical mistakes.

Of course I am no expert in this field and my strength in the measurable exercises are below par. But I still advocate the importance of know-how before we dive into training.

The NIKE maxim of 'Just Do It', is not a license to forgo your good sense and plunge into deep water, but a reminder for people who know what they're getting into and as a result have good reasons to have reservations.

But now I'm overhauling my position, and believe that time-effective and hard training although is great, but it will be severely undermined, if we have lousy recovery (sleep and rest) and shoddy nutrition (eating habits).

*

While I am still learning and studying Scripture, it came to me even more startlingly that I belong to Christ wholely, because He has redeemed me.

Christ's ownership of me is total, and there can be no personal ambition or interest that I withhold from Him. I must submit all my thinking, doing and saying to Him and only do what is acceptable and pleasing.

C.S Lewis says this,

The almost impossibly hard thing is to hand over your whole self to Christ. But it is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead. For what we are trying to do is to remain what we call "ourselves"-our personal happiness centred on money or pleasure or ambition-and hoping, despite this, to behave honestly and chastely and humbly. And that is exactly what Christ warned us you cannot do. If I am a grass field-all the cutting will keep the grass less but won't produce wheat. If I want wheat...I must be plowed up and re-sown.

I have been valuing my own happiness above everything else for most of my life, and it is little wonder that I was unhappy. In striving to be happy, we give first place to the selfish desires of our hearts, which displace other people and promote ourselves.

The world is a cruel, selfish place that encourages self-centredness and conditions you to be self-centred.
We are often told: Fight for your own happiness.
I am astounded I could miss the great degree of self-centredness in that.
Our own happiness, if possible to attain, would come at others' expense and misery.
Our own happiness means that we disregard the condition of others' hearts and exalt ourselves above them.

Instead of cutthroat competitions, where men come up against one another, it should be as: Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (NIV)

There is a sense of mutual growth/ improvement in the Proverb, but in our human version of competition somebody gets hurt and left behind, thoroughly losing.

When we look at all the main sins and offences, we see that they have heavy overtones of self-interest in them. In coveting and in greed, where our own insecurity and self-interest instigate us to steal and claim things that aren't ours in the beginning. This of course harms the rightful owner whom we discount when matched with our desires.

In lust, we desire things that do not belong or cannot belong to us. We prize our pleasures and satisfaction either in the emotional or physical and sexual sense above all, and we do not care if it injures the people we love and care about or demean women who are of immeasureable worth.

Satiety and Fulfillment do not mean the same thing.

This is why I believe that the world is broken.
Some believe that love and neighbourliness will heal the world. I believe that it takes much more than human action to salvage the brokenness; I believe only Christ provides Salvation.

It is also unthinkable when we can be happy when our satisfaction is built on the misery of other people who are as precious as us.
What makes a person precious?
It should not be intellect, beauty, virtue. The human soul is precious.

Instead of self-centredness, we must be God-centred.

*

Looking at how most belief systems make out how our earthly lives, it seems almost like we are in a rat-race, where only at the end, are the Elite with special unique qualities of strength and power and brilliant minds, as well as an ambiguous label of goodness, rewarded with heaven.

I would instantly say that most of us will not make the cut because these virtues and qualities are neither common, or attainable in a lifetime. With doing good, while we are selfish, even when the things we do have positive consequences, it is questionable if we have done good.
I could take this on in another lengthy thread.

My question is: what about the weak, the helpless, the broken?
Are they cared for and catered for while they fail to qualify for heaven?

In a society that celebrates and rewards strength, is there any place for the weak and meek?

My critique is that we give too much weight to our moral efforts and we believe that these will be sufficient to carry ourselves to a higher place, and we structure the end reward in a laughable competition against each other, matching each other's moral contributions.
So once again, we displace one another and advance at others' expense.

I find it strange that the path to heaven seems extremely similar to the selfish cutthroat competitions on Planet Earth.

*

We fully depend on Christ because all of our strength is insignificant, and we have no ability to save ourselves from our own brokenness, our own insidious, unloving selves. Christ cleanses us, declares us righteous and worthy despite our fallenness and empowers us to follow after Him, which we could not. He teaches us to love Him and one another, and in all of this, we give glory to God who is worthy of the highest praise.

Only in the Grace of God can we eat and drink without cost. Christ has paid in full.

It is a big step to yield to Christ.
I dislike the word receive, because it is too genial and non-committal.
Rather, we should stop rejecting and resisting Christ in the areas of our life.

*

I have not mentioned Sin. Most of us have no concept of Sin, or we mute it into the form of an occasional mistake that we can surely avoid.

This low view of Sin is dangerous and foolish.
In characterizing Sin, Sin is like a serpent that sneaks in unaware and takes hold of you and will not let go. It aims to bring you with it to death.

If you are angry, it will instigate you to hurt/harm others, even those you care about, and yourself.

It will pervert your normal sexual urges into something beastly and unnatural, that demeans and twists what is meant to be beautiful communion between man and wife.

It will make you forget about love and kindness and gentleness.

It will lead you away from God because God who is Holy is incompatible with Sin.

It will lead you to go against God, and incite you to violate His laws, which have been meant to protect and sanctify you, reserving you who are originally His for sacred use and His purposes.

Because of sin, we lose our place in God's family and kingdom.

Sin is not contented in occupying a small part in your life, or a small piece of you. It will want full claim over all of you.

I am not scaring my readers, but Sin is not something that is over and done with. It is a constant threat to our relationship with God, and while Christ has broken its claim over us, we must not let it dominate us once again.

If we do not think we need to be saved, we will not want a Saviour.
Christ will not be relevant to us if we are fulfilled and happy.

But most of us are neither happy nor fulfilled.




*

Days left to Enlistment: 13

I'm looking to spend the rest of my time getting together with good old friends whom I have not seen, or will not be seeing for a long time, and also to slip in as many times of weight workouts as my weak body can afford, without breaking down.

Where I am now a free roaming adult with no longer any fresh income and thus a relevant resolution not to abuse my ATM card, I have to regulate my outings also.

Wed 1:
Thu 2:
Fri 3:
Sat 4: KARATE DEMONSTRATION @ SUNTEC CITY

Sun 5: SERVICE (MORNING), THE PEOPLE FROM KARATE, MOTHERS' DAY DINNER
Mon 6: EVENING TRAINING @ KOLAM AYER CC
Tue 7:
Wed 8:
Thu 9 :
Fri 10 : FINAL KARATE TRAINING
Sat 11:

Sun 12: SERVICE, FINAL GYM SESSION
Mon 13: PPD
Tue 14: ENLISTMENT DAY

Unless something else seizes me violently, this will be the final expository from me.
And no, I am not a fanatic. If I were one, I would be very inconsistent, frenzied and beyond common reason.

I'm slightly stunned that it is April again.

I often post in response to somebody else's expository, before I either relate to that somebody's post or go off in another wholely different direction.
(This post was motivated by reading Catherine's.)

My first and foremost query is:
Do people actually read my posts properly and take in what I say?

I will come back to this.

I must address the 'A' Levels, in order to validate it having been a real experience for my person. The outcome was within my expectations when I had not finished the coursework. Xiao Yu tells me, all the way from Canada, that this is a shabby excuse and I concur.

Most of the nerves were lost on me on Friday, because I lunched with Derek first and had beef as well. I like beef because it is succulent (when cooked masterfully) and muscle-friendly and it spites the cow-abstaining idol at home.

I then had to pay $30 worth of fines at the library for a book I borrowed in 2007, and promptly returned into the book-drop because it was unhelpful. I reasoned that if I had paid, and my results were horrific, it'd be even more of a rip-off. Because of this (and other expenditures), I'm broke this whole week. Myself, and several others have been victims of the flawed system in the college library.

While waiting for the long-sighted lady to leaf through the wad of results slips of other compatriots marked down by the unmerciful library, the woman almost gave me a slip with Ds and Us and Ss. It was a rude shock and I thank God my name, "LAU" is super distinctive from other names like "LIM". I'm so sorry, Lim.

When I finally got my rightful slip, by virtue of stark comparison, it felt strangely liberating, though a mild, awful emotion did appear for a bit. I call it the "it should have been me" feeling, triggered when I watched, and recalled watching old friends go upstage to claim their deserved congratulations from the principal.

Back at the hall, even the VP kindly give me counsel and evaluated my results for me. Hakim gave me "The Killing Joke", a 1988 Batman graphic novel as a birthday gift, and it was very entertaining and distracting, while the people who did excellent were called onstage.

God's faithfulness was a solid comfort, because our future in Christ is extremely secure.

John 10:27-29 (NIV)

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand."

This is a most important question I've been mulling over for quite some time.
Q: How do you tell if you are a sheep of God's flock.
A: Easy. You follow Him.

I also remembered to praise God for His divine arrangement which the short-sighted creature that I am cannot see. We survive only on His grace, and to also mention a delightful worship song, His Grace is Enough. My extensive study of Scripture then gave rise to two hard-sought A's amidst the other ugly alphabets, and I am thankful.
On hindsight, this was God at work, even through a lazy vessel like me.

A happy conclusion to a Korean drama, and a night at Karate which was slow-paced because of the visiting Swiss Blackbelt, made things better.

And this is how I've closed the chapter on my pre-university education. Even then, I will not entertain intrusive questions about my exam performance. I will then proceed to feign amnesia, in the hope that you might get my meaning and go away, else I will need to behave violently.

I have learnt more about leadership recently and although Gandhi is a pagan, he was pretty accurate to say: "I suppose that at one time leadership meant muscles, but today it means getting along with people."

This is not to say that Arnold Schwarzenegger makes a lousy governor, but that leadership is not a commanding presence or an inspiring one. It begins with humility, enthusiasm and offers respect to coworkers and especially subordinates. It concludes with appreciation for them when the job is done. I saw this in a slim man whose hair was growing white.

The Pyramid of Leadership
Image Credit: Google



If Christ is real, then He should be our everything and occupy all our thoughts all the time and unceasingly. There will be no self, no 'me' but only Christ.

We should strive to have Abraham's faith. God told Abraham to "Take your son, your only son, Isaac whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about." (Genesis 22:2 (NIV))

It was incredulous, and it seemed incredulous to Abraham because God had said it was through Isaac that Abraham's offspring will be reckoned and he could not understand how would God still bring forth nations and the kings of peoples if he were to put his heir to death.

But his response was prompt:
"Early next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey." (verse 3)

Abraham trusted that God would provide and make his paths straight, and obeyed God IMMEDIATELY even while he could not understand what God was doing.
In short, trust God even while we cannot see and cannot understand.

In Genesis 15-22:19 (NIV),
"Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward."

1) God is our shield (refuge and shelter) and our defence.
With His protection, we are safe and secure.
But: If we put off our shield (God), we are extremely vulnerable.

Psalm 46:1-2 (NIV)

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,"

2) God is our very great reward. The best of all things are with God. He will protect, enrich, deliver, and correct us.

God is not just speaking to Abraham here. He speaks to His people who come from Abraham (was Abram).

We can even draw lessons from Genesis.

In contrast with how Abraham was willing to give his firstborn son to God. God gave His Son for all of us, and did not hold back. What else do we do, other than devote ourselves to Him.

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In closing, having a good time should be the least of my concerns, because I should not be living for myself or my selfish pleasures and joys. My life is no longer just my own.

My favourite lines from a worship song, "Blessed be Your Name"-

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Praise God all the time, read His Word all the time, pray all the time.
Spiritual hunger must be satisfied with the correct spiritual food.
Christ is the Word of God, and will fulfill and nourish us.

Do you really read what I write, or you just stare at the pretty letters and wonder how come I'm so eloquent?