The rain has foiled my running plans, and I'm quite used to these sort of disruptions, so I'm not mad. We are powerless humans and we sway with the conditions that paint our world.

My weekend has already begun to be lousy. I will not get to hit the gym; there is a TKD grading on Sunday and it rudely occupies several hours. I've to make a trip to Dover's ITE College West to meet the Boys who are racing today and either congratulate or console them. I'm additionally a bit miffed that this is still my role after 2 years of being in the mix.
I'm probably suffering from a heightened sense of self-importance. I think this is an affliction common among my generation of leaders.

Jeremy (Ang) made a comment to me about the wisdom of the Company leaders with regard to the Primers' Programme and also about other decisions made by them. I was too tired and lazy to correct him or to amend his thoughts and defend the leaders, but a bit of me concurs with what he says. The intentions of the higher-ups are good and I find myself on the same page as them at times, but I still feel that some of their ideas are either silly and/or non-pragmatic.

I keep getting the feeling that I've overstayed. It's no longer or really the same as my time, and I must remove myself from giving too much care for this.
The Company will move on. You'll do fine without me. I'm not needed in this mixture anymore.

I think the 'you'll do fine without me-' applies in another way too.
I should stop being silly and get on blazing through the other parts of my life. I will retract my resentment for the things that won't change and replace it with peace.

I will love people.

I dreamt of my grandfather this morning. It was a pleasant surprise for me, because he's been gone for 8 years now, and this is the third time he ever featured in one of my dreams ever since he died. My mind goes imaginative at night ever since ever. It probably realises I need a strong distraction from the nonsense that has been going on.

The thing that makes a me a bit sad is that he wasn't around to see me grow into a young man instead of that pudgy noisy boy at his bedside back in 2000. The last thing he said to me was a gentle rebuke/ comment that I wasn't a well-behaved boy. The exact wording was in Teochew.

I won't know what he thinks of me now, now that I'm taller, stronger, maybe brighter and definitely more dashing. But I probably won't know what he thinks of me even if he's around now. He's a quiet man. I still miss him and the way he walks around the place. And his straw hat.

Hm.

I quite like my Friday yesterday though. PE was entirely satisfactory. The men did quick interval runs of 800 m 3 times to make up the 2.4 distance with some rest in between.
It was the sort of push-myself-to-discomfort thing that made me feel great.
I took off behind Hakim, and made sure that I didn't lose him even though there was some metres between us. It took quite a bit from me to keep at it.

I kept reminding myself that the only thing that is keeping me going is my mind, and also that a cute girl in the canteen is watching. It worked! A 3 minute 800m run is difficult, but worth discomfort. I just need to reproduce that on the day of the test.
I will require several pretty things to be in the canteen then.

While I took my sister to her swimming lesson yesterday, I encountered several pretty ladies too! There was one at the Macdonald's at Tampines Interchange and we exchanged many glances. I should have talked to her. =(

The April issue of Men's Health has this to say, "Getting that girl you fancy is easier than you think: just keep looking. Researchers from Stirling and Aberdeen Universities in the UK report that people are up to eight times more attracted to potential partners who look them directly in the eyes and smile"

I saw many girls in nice swimsuits too.
Pleasantville.

The April issue of Men's Health is really nice. So is the girl on the cover and in the pages. She's hot! I got to read my sister's Cleo too and it's not too bad also. Only thing is the girl in MH is way hotter. I think I will write in and ask about her. And then look at her in the eyes and smile.

The weekend will still be bad, but the way we look at it can better things.
I'm looking forward to next Friday.

In parting,

Real men do the things that aren't what they want to do, but what must be done.

In the end, the only thing we take with us out of this life is our memories. We have the choice of putting what we want into it.

I want to catch "The Bucket List".