i want to tear me and my space out of time, into oblivion.
where i would be untouched and unaffected by everything else around.

The issue today in KI on time quandries and on the creation of the world are much more than overwhelming. My mind is driven into so many directions, i no longer know if i'm rational or otherwise. The possibilities(endless) are prodding me so near to malady.
Nothing is absolute. The two sides to a freaking story are driving me nuts.
i'm gonna say that in a mocking tone: "only the Sith deals in absolutes"
Show him the finger dammit.

The sonofabitch weather is wrecking havoc on the progression of life according to the normalcy that i would like. I'm turning fanatically perfectionist. e.g. while i was ironing my school pants, it took me 5 mins to align the lines i carved out with the hot iron together and then took another 5 mins to drape it over my red clothes-hanger.
Anyways. The SOAB is not helping things, the way screwed up they are...
My Billabong bag is soiled from the last rainfall on Fri, and i can't wash it as soon as I would like. goddammit. and my ACG Nikes is still smarting from the same Friday that hurt my Billy. Nab. Poured Johnson's and Johnson's over it in the hope to improve the smell.
Have to wear it tomorrow. How cheerful. -.-
i have a verdict: well... the fan is blowing at my shoes now...

I hate the feeling of helplessness. I'm a male. Its in our blood.
Our influence should be all-powerful and dominant and we should be in control. I'd like to be in absolute control. And it's not happening. And there's this SOAB heaviness in my chest area. Man I hate losing grip. Even just loosening my hold on anything for a lil while. I realised that i can't stand everything being disorganized. Sweet. and things are moving in a way that is very agitating...i have a verdict: run away.

And with Miss Y, the meekness of one pivotal character has effectively, and almost assuredly thwarted the possibilities of a bliss-filled outcome. Period. Or maybe half a period. I have a verdict: listen to dan the man.

Saturday nears.
My ticket to Japan. I must win. I mean, competing in a category with boys my age and about the same stature...what are my chances?
I can only amuse myself with the instances I spent training in combat with the people there and the words they offered. Very uplifting.
But influential? Ah. It all comes down to whether i woke up sweetly on that day? And what is the probability of that happening? Considering the fact that there is a parade on that day, a training the previous day and a lousy week at college...I can't come up with much.
Sincerely hoping that can catapult up with this tournament.
The first(of many, I hope).
i have a verdict: i need to fantasize and stock up on Red Bull.
...