This is what we must declare anew

Joshua 24: 14-15

¹⁴ “Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. ¹⁵ But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

Realizations:

It is the broken, weak and poor who have an understanding of our uncleanness and unworthiness and can recognize the depth and breath of God's Love and Grace in His acceptance of us.

What I fix my eyes upon is what I will be filled with. If I allow entrance unclean things to enter into my view, my body and mind will be full of darkness.

Luke 11:34-36

Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy,^[a] your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy,^[b] your body also is full of darkness. ³⁵ See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness. ³⁶ Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be just as full of light as when a lamp shines its light on you.”

It is not okay to be ''away from God for a short while''.

Such a compartmentalization of God's Spirit will leave space for something else to enter.

We are at the 6-month mark of the year. God is gracious, faithful, good and strongly present.
It is instead how much my heart is receptive to His Spirit.

I have been favoured by Him and people to have completed the following:

1. I have jumped from a plane in the Basic Airborne Course.

2. I was entrusted with the command of a company as Officer Commanding for a short time in M Company, and had a pleasant time working with, and growing the command team and the new soldiers.

3. I have overcome pain to achieve my IPPT GOLD award for this year;


4. I have a new and better boss; and the old derelict one has been removed far away,

5. I finally made several purchases that made it easy for me to upkeep my physical exercise.

This is but a small extent of the goodness I have been graced with. I believe there will be more good out of this year, sweet and bitter experiences to grow my character and faith.
Glory be to Christ, God's Son.

It took a few ingredients to coax me out of the comfortable setting in my home and onto the road to hit the pavement. Running used to be so natural and easy, but now that I've gained quite a few, it feels hard to move my body through space.

I'd be bold and state that I'm at 79 kilograms and if I do nothing, it will increase, because I love to eat and I naively believe the scant lifting I'm doing will offset the stuff I introduce into my system.

This was about the same weight before I enlisted, but I now feel different. My body works differently too.

I can do more pull-ups, but I run much slower and shorter.

Hence, I put on an OCS singlet, used the earphones that I bought to complement the running habit I'm supposed to cultivate, put on the New Balance shoes that I again bought to sustain the habit and ran.

It helped that I was running to a familiar place (MJC), and I was hoping to gain entry into the track so I could get a drink and also reminisce. I was disappointed.

The OCS shirt made me conscious that I could not look bad, and the presence of strangers multiplied that sense.

Even though it was not as feel good as I would liked, it was a good and beneficial run and I am hungry.

2010 in Review

If I were to theme this year, it would be the year I became an Officer and my adventures as an one.

I've learnt so many things, tangible and intangible-management, leadership styles, soft skills and parenting most of all.

I've realized that the groups of people that the education system of our competitive community neglect are the ones we must pay attention to; these are the people we must inspire and correct. They will form the most of our work force and they are the numbers that make the most difference.

I also realize that we can never assume that we've assimilated any lessons/knowledge.
We must reinforce whatever we've acquired, or they will fall away from our persons.
Our retention is poor, and the fresh new external stimuli overpowers aged memories.

Whatever you do not upkeep, you lose.
Your faith, your fitness, your sanity. Personal Experience.

Your superiors never want to hear about your limitations. They want a problem-less tour and an everlasting can-do attitude. So, I will just tell them to stop pretending like they actually care about my constraints.

Self-help is the new way forward. Not mutual support, not reinforcement from another sector.

(to be continued)

This weekend, I have had more time. Not that I utilize it wisely, to either get more rest or to realign myself for the following one, but it allows more time outside of the working environment and better food in both taste, nutrition and variety.

I saw a girl that I was crazy about some years back and it almost did not register that I knew who she was. I recall that I had approached her badly and it's something that on rare occasions that my mind can afford to wander that I remember.

Seeing this instigated me to reflect; (and with a little prompting from Hakim) how am I different now. The reflection is not complete, but I'm raring to show, or re-present the new Man that I hope I am getting to be, to people from my past.

I feel that everybody functions on a squeeze-balls reflex. We only move and work only when our balls are squeezed. There is no longer any initiative or self-motivating.

It's only a line/hierarchy/chain of balls squeezing.

I feel more acutely that the 200 over young men I am housing and having my command team train will re-enter the community as the sum of the experiences that we create.

I must think about ours, and especially my impact and influence over them.

Are we making better men, or spoiling them?

I like soldiering and I am for the idea of a defence force. Not just for the obvious reasons of deterrence, but also the fact that the experience, or according to some-ordeal makes us grow up fast. For the most of those who are willing to take the hard parts, National Service is a man-maker.

There is a perceivable difference in men who have served and trained. They are more hardened, less frivolous, and better under pain or pressure.

I think that what it takes to be a man, is taking up responsibility and endurance.

We are made better and are proven stronger after suffering hardship.

Why we serve: our defence force is one of the main reasons our country has such stability.

I suspect our neighbours may not take us seriously without the presence of our army.

I have thought and talked about this with my friend, and I am not surprised, but also slightly wistful that our own people do not have the amount of support for National Service that would add more purpose, commitment and strength to our soldiers.

There is less dedication if we do not understand and accept/acknowledge, let alone believe in what we do daily.

Our workload and environment may suck, but it is necessary.

I don't like to communicate with the use of curse-words.

There should be a better way than this to get across to thick-heads that I am furious, I want immediate action and that there's promise of violence if I don't get what I want.

I feel that I must practise a clear level temperament even if I'm getting mad, because I think better, consider more about the effect/impact of my potential outburst.

I am told to be and slow to anger.

Further Reflections:
James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to be angry.

We should be receptive to what others say and give weight to their opinion. It's a good way to show that we value people and take their ideas seriously.

We have to weigh our words cautiously and make sure that it does not harm or mar the growth of a person. We are to edify our friends and not tear them down.

In giving in to rage, I become volatile, impulsive and make moves that hurt relationships and judgements that are too unforgiving.




A young officer must make up for his lack of experience with knowledge.

He must be fit and able to keep at his job ahead of his command team and soldiers even while they slow from weariness.

He must have the compulsion to keep at his task with high energy and to reflect on himself.
Has he let his people down, and has he let himself down?

When in command and with responsibility, can I assume what I do is sufficient or must I question and re-measure myself?

Look into yourself:

I am in a reflecting mood, especially since I have asked the people I lead to reflect on themselves.

I've been thinking and going off track all this while.
I do not think I am sufficient to enough for a mature, serious relationship.
I must learn responsibility first and be accountable for my decisions and behaviour.
I must learn to love others at great cost to myself.

Jesus taught in John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

A relationship is more than investment of emotion, time and money for good returns.
I believe it is the joining of two persons, soul and more together.

If I am hasty and I do not think and take this seriously, I will not do justice to a perfectly nice girl.

With wasting time on temporary flings, I have neither the nerves or the youth to do them again.