Maybe it's because I missed out on the reunion dinner, or some component of the formula that makes up my new year is missing-this feels less festive and even less familial.

I cannot help comparing with the previous year, and find that I prefer the way I hit the gym on the EVE, instead of the long march this time. Last year, I was also highly amused by my first uncle, who is away to Malaysia this time round.

There was no alchohol this year, neither for me or my father which is a blessed big change.

I eat much less now, and I have less enthusiasm about so many things.
I'm more affected by the length of the journey and the afternoon sun, that is a common association with the Lunar New Year.

I have more in common with my cousin, who is now a recce officer, and we've talked more this time, probably than the other years combined.

I've been reading less and less of God's word, but now I find even more greatly important, I must be in touch with His living Word, which ministers to my spirit.

Faith cometh by hearing, and the gift of faith is spread by us believers telling others about Jesus. Good news must not be stowed away, but displayed and made known to all.
We are meant to disclose what is hidden.

It's a Song Leng characteristic to revert to being ungrateful and hard-hearted after being the recipient of God's grace and blessing.
I'm starkly aware that this is my lousy reaction to His mercy and I've got to change.

I look to be renewed daily and be re-aligned in Christ.

This new year looks promising and I hope that I will grow in the correct direction and become the kind of person, believer and Officer that I am to be.

I Will Sing of My Redeemer.

Reviewing 2009

I leaped from being a student to being a temporary bum and then to being a full-time soldier. Life, especially as a cadet is wholly different.

My usual life is now a subset of my time as an officer cadet, and the leisure activities I could spread over at least one week have to be compressed into 2 days.

I look to lift weights, to meet friends, to attend service-to loaf and play like an animal with no leash.

I want the power of making my own meals again and not have the same repetitive sets doled out to us week after week.

I've understood myself more greatly over the course of the year and my course. I do love and think highly of myself, but my blatant weaknesses and illnesses are not invisible, even to my own person.

I am vain, and part of my pursuit of fitness is not just for longevity and the feel-good from purposeful exertion, but for aesthetic reasons.Even then, there isn't much allowance any more for me to upkeep this.
What a shame.

I believe that I am the greatest/mightiest/smartest in whatever setting.
But in sober moments, I am aware that I'm moved to give in/up and tread the soft option when challenges become larger than my coping ability.

One thing that I was right about the present, re-viewing my review of the year 2008, I did miss all those things that I listed, and I have lived through my bare expectations of the military, which are even more acute and less pleasant then I thought.

I have felt absolute hopelessness in the year;
I have felt genuine strength from the joy of the LORD and it is one of the most beautiful and wonderful feelings ever;
My life was in considerable danger many times over;
My body felt like it would crumble;
I have felt genuine love for my friends;
I have traveled to a nasty dark place (The Bruneian Jungle) and a considerably better place (Taipei City);
I have manned up.

All in all there was, although not always perceivable growth and I am grateful to God's interference and sustenance.

Seizing some time to express myself in this place.
I pride myself in being eloquent and full of wit, and thus, have had difficulty in beginning to write because I find it hard to match the standard I once had.

But I have been jumpstarted by the blog of a particular someone I've visited on occasion, and this made me want to review the past year.

The first portion of the year was the most relaxed time of my life, that I failed to identify and utilize. So many days where I could grow and in big leaps, built a sturdy foundation in the Word and also in fitness.

The next part was when I became a soldier.
It was an absolute change, from being a refined academic to a raw recruit and then an officer cadet. I've learnt and endured much and will continue to do so.
I find it remarkable that in a span of 6 months, I've visited 2 countries and fought in a manner that the many people I share my life with cannot begin to imagine.

I find it hard to translate the actuality and value of what we do, to my friends and have them understand, and appreciate the effort that is required from us on our missions.

I've met new friends who have probably been so knitted to myself that it might have been that we've covalently bonded.

We've had so much thrills, upsets and common experience that I've come to depend on them for cheer and maintenance of sanity.

God's grace and blessings were not always noticed by my short-sightedness, and God's presence, driven away by my folly, mistakes and laziness was never far away.

Despite my numerous inadequacies, I cling to His promise that He will never leave or forsake us, but make us perfect in His love.

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.—Charles Dickens

HAPPY CHRISTMAS;

My blog is in dire need of colour and life. The above greeting stands as an attempt to expunge the monotony.

I traditionally celebrate Christmas by watching a continuous strings of cartoons that build the festive mood because there is no snow, no tree, no turkey.

My program starts in the morning and it will persist till the night, and morph from animation to live-action TV.

Shows like The Polar Express and definitely, Love Actually create a tropical, local Christmas that is a prized holiday.

Now that I am a soldier and an almost-adult, Christmas is no longer a subset of a larger and longer holiday because I'm no longer schooling.

This makes me really miss JC and the time I spent then, as a student who's mistakes were mild and less costly and had the huge autonomy to do what, when I liked.

Looking back at being a student and comparing that with now being a soldier, I feel evermore that the leap is massive, and I've been put on accelerated growth in this whole year.

I think that most of the female and large parts of the male people in our land have very little idea about what we do and how we train and fight, and if I ever get to a position with leverage and heavy influence, I would propose that (female) students get to see us do a regular mission.

Videos and photos cannot capture the heat and rigour with what we do, and even I myself could never have imagined doing the things that I've been at, a year ago.

The future is unseen, but only to our less powerful eyes and not un-sketched or out of the hands of our God, who is faithful and good.

I came up with some realizations.

First, Santa Claus is a big racist who neglects Asians.

Since he is full of magic, the weak excuse about there being no chimneys in our flats and condominiums is non-believable.

If he were committed, he might use the general rubbish chute that connects every single apartment.

Two would be that I am wholly unprepared for any sort of romance.

Three is that I am actually pretty good with children. My mutant ability to induce laughter strikes a chord with those below 1.5m in height, and I am thinking this accidental weapon is also potent when turned on even ladies above this range.

Many of the people I know in Anglican High are expressing faith in Christ.

This is a pleasant surprise and I wonder if He is working on something while drawing all of us deep into Him, because we are the next generation of believers who will impact the world, acting in the full might and power of His Holy Spirit.

To pray for softening of hearts which grow receptive to the message of love, and to be perfect in Christ. Softening is hardly the same as weakening, which I think is an association we make inadvertently.

GLORIA IN EXCELSIS DEO