His Plan for Me

When I stand at the Judgment Seat of Christ
And He shows me His plan for me,
The plan of my life as it might have been,
Had He had His way; and I see

How I blocked Him here, and I checked Him there
And I would not yield my will,
Will there be grief in my Saviour's eyes,
Grief though He loves me still?

He would have me rich, and I stand here poor,
Stripped of all but His grace,
While memory runs like a hunted thing
Down the paths I cannot retrace.

Then my desolate heart will well nigh break
With tears that I cannot shed;
I shall cover my face with my empty hands;
I shall bow my uncrowned head.

Lord of the years that are left to me,
I give them to Thy hand;
Take me and break me, mold me to
The pattern Thou hast planned.

Martha Snell Nicholson

2 Corinthians 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

Waiting for December

December promises to be a good month.
There is another wedding to be part of, and I will also be baptized.
Finally, the tailor-made No. 1 and the sword in the closet may be used again.

I will soon get to be back in the uniforms, with the old/new sense of purpose and no considerations for academic problems. This is at least for the entire month.

But first, we have to get over the entire November first.

My future is secured in the Lord.

But sometimes when I begin reading a book, I flip to the end to reassure myself that I'm headed towards a happy ending. In this book that matters, we do. There is another wedding to look forward too, and we will this time be part of the Bride, who will be blissful, blessed and filled with overwhelming joy.

It is this eternal joy that He is patiently waiting for and moving towards, and I must learn patience and  love for this eternal joy that will never end.

Glen and I were talking, and we agreed it indeed is very human to want the good things now.
But we must instead want the eternal joy He is preparing for us.

Documentation on this blog aids in memory recall, in case I lose all my journals in a fiery accident or when I move house and the box with all these books are lost in transit.

Our Confidence in the Lord

I have decided to exercise my free will and miss my elective lesson to work on some assignments, and before I go on to them, I have goodness to share, out of my daily living. I also boldly presume there are those who read and really care what I write.

But God can use handkerchiefs touched by His agents to heal, so why may He not use vain English words to draw people to His Word and later the full measure of His love and mercy?

I have greater and greater confidence in the character and nature of my God. He is faithful, He loves me, and I am on His mind. All that I go through is to lead up to my perfection of faith, which is my God's priority for me.

Psalm 8

⁴ what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
   human beings that you care for them?

 ⁵ You have made them a little lower than the angels
   and crowned them with glory and honor.


We pray because we are sure God hears and we are sure He acts out of love for us. When Christ came to engage men, He was gentle and tender even with the hearts of sinners, teaching and showing them the way to life. If God did not love us, and men were not always on His mind, His own arm would not have worked salvation for Him.  Isaiah 59:16

The sinfulness of men would not diminish the holiness and very great glory of the Lord, but out of His very great love for men, He sent the Redeemer to Zion and to those in Jacob who repent of their sins. There is breadth in His redemption plan, and all men may partake in this salvation. Isaiah 59: 20

How I relate to Him, is also important. I have been freed to respond to His love with my love. 1 John 4:19

How do I love Him?

I don't feel the rush of love like one feels in a romance. I cannot see or quantify it, but I see the evidences of my love for Him, just as I see the stronger evidences of His love and care for me.

I know I need Him; I need Him so much that He must walk with me all of my days. I cannot leave Him even for a while. I am compelled to obey Him and I want to always hear from Him. I am conscious of my gratitude for His saving grace on me.

But in my humanness and old nature, I am inconsistent and prone to leaving the very refuge that I should be safe and content under.

Daily, my heart seeks to break out from God's discipline. If I give in just once, I will be undone. But if I keep sight of His goodness, and rest my heart in Him, I will be safe.

If we forget He loves us and He loves us so richly and deeply, we will grow to distrust His blessings for us.

I may not store up for myself goodness and pleasure outside of His will and subsequently, His protection.

Trust in God fully, for He is constant and His measure of deep love for us will never be diminished. He has loved us with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
We cannot comprehend everlasting, but He knows what He is saying exactly, for He is the One who will last forever.

Do not place hope on a mere man for he is liable to change, to sin and to become wayward. He is not consistently faithful. The enemy seeks to turn my eyes, and later my thoughts, and later my heart away from the Lord. He will use all petty means to achieve this, as well as artful schemes. He will not quit until I trip.

But I know my God; He will not let me go easily for He paid a high price for me. In fact, He will not let me go too far before He will come out and seek me. While we are slowly moving back to obedience, He will run to meet us like the father in the parable of the Prodigal Son.

2 things give me great encouragement:

-Where does the strength to obey come from?
-Where did my desire to walk right with Him and break out of the momentum of sin come from?

Surely the flesh will not curtail the amount of pleasure it hungers for. Can the flesh make itself respectable and sustain false holiness? Yes, but not for long.

Increase Your Confidence in the Lord! 


Who is this strong and mighty God we serve and follow?
Will the Lord fail to protect and provide for those who are His?

I am to be greatly and greatly purified; God is greatly and greatly to be praised.
Where I trust in my God and King, who is a very powerful God and King, I may have joy and peace.
He is a God who makes straight our paths.


To believers and unbelievers alike,


This is a very Song Leng-centred post.


However, God's love for me is not exclusive, it is already given to you. His fixation and His concern for you is not affected by your condition. He was willing to love you at such great cost to Himself. The blessings of His love can be known and lived out. 


If you live apart at a distance from Him and refuse to come into His love, you are missing out. While you remain away from Him, He is still loving you at this very moment, for He is your Father, and even if a mother forgets the child she bore, He will never forget you. Isaiah 49: 15


May all come to know the love of Christ, before they deny Him entry into our lives.

Waiting for Deployment.

The Lord reserves good things for people, I am sure of it. Where there are curses for disobedience there are blessings for obedience.

Therefore we must partner with Him, keeping ourselves in holiness and purity, our bodies, hearts, minds, and Spirit reserved for Him. 

Over breakfast, these things came to mind, while I considered how God was working in and on my life these days. Whatever happens to me is meant to build me up in faith. We are to be the living stones in God's house in time to come.

So these were the things that I thought of:

1. What may challenge/ oppose me (my faith) in this 4+4 years? 
How may I meet them?

2. What may break or hurt my heart in this period? Death, family tragedy or crisis- 
How then will I relate to Him if these happen?

3. How may I be lured away from Him to other relationships, interests or desires? 

These 4+4 years will build me in faith for His purposes. Then I can be fully His, being fully deployable by Him, not owing anything to any human authority.

I am convinced that I belong to Him, so this will have bearing on the way I will live. While I know He will seek me out if I falter, it is better to obey now then to be restored years later, and to realize that I failed to obey.

I cannot stain my feet by wandering out in the ways of the unbelieving world and stalling the cleansing that Christ has said He will do for us. Unless He washes us, we will have no part with Him. John 13:8.

It will be necessary to ask ourselves these questions, so we may be prepared to stand stronger and closer in Christ. We are of the generation who may be giants in faith.

I wait as He trains me in manliness, in righteousness, in holiness, so that I may be equipped for the mission that He has assigned to me. And I will not go out alone to do His work. He will be with me.

This is a private reflection that hopefully will strengthen the faith of my brothers and sisters who also call Him Lord and God. 

For the Young Man at School

As usual, I write to edify those who are in the faith, but a huge amount of boasting in my goodness, which is not inherent, takes place. If I censor them, then I am not genuine. 


It is very different to have come from the army into university, where I am not only having to deal with young men, but now also young women. It is more complicated and they need more love, tenderness and sensitivity.

With my soldiers, I could be rough, I could be gruff and I could prick their egos and consciences. I could challenge them, and I could make them feel a degree of shame. The objective was to build them up, deflate their ego, increase their self-worth and encourage them to be properly manly.

I remember how they got themselves into situations they were not equipped to deal with. Those were situations I were not equipped to deal with also.

I remember when one of them came up and asked for permission to leave camp, because his pregnant girlfriend was having an abortion. I remember those with family problems and those with drug problems. I remember those who got in trouble with the law.

But I also remember how some of them became more than what they started out as, having learnt obedience, submission and respect for authority. I am always thrilled when they call out to me. It feels good to know that I have done some good with them.

Dealing with young men is a good gift I thought I have; which is why I had put myself on course for more service in the force, to see what other good may I do with the young men of the next few generations.

*

But now, in school, I need to be cautious in a wholly different way. What is the safety distance? What are the steps to take? What can be done, and what may not be done with a girl?

As a non-believer or as one still under the perfecting work of the Spirit, I sought to obtain the approval and adoration of others, and of those of the opposite gender. I behaved in a showy way, and tried to appeal to the flesh, with my nice outward personality. I still do.

There needs to be much more depth to us than what we seem.

Now that I have more female friends, it was time to revisit an old sermon by Paul Washer.

I have shared this with some, but I wonder if they would come to see the richness of this teaching, which Paul Washer gave to Christian young men.

Do we know how to treat a girl with the love of Christ, or bruise her with our insensitivities and our weakness?

We are relating with human beings who love and who hurt, who laugh and who cry.

We young men do not know how to treasure the precious daughter of the Lord, and now I am brought to a realization that I need to accelerate my preparation, in such a setting.

With God's Spirit, I realize a lot of things these days.

I had always thought I was adequate and all set for the next phase, but these months, I have been humbled.

Who and what kind of a person I am looking for to jointly raise and teach children, and to train them in the ways of our Lord? Am I the dependable man who may protect and provide for his family?

And while I withdraw into Him so that I may be taught by His Spirit, there is a worry that I will miss my opportunity. But Paul Washer commented that, "If God is sovereign, you will not miss your opportunity."

Anything I give over to the Lord, I have not lost. If I submit my desires and my person to His hands, I will be moulded by Him.

My mind and eyes cannot yet see the goodness of the Lord's plan. So I wait on Him. What do I know, compared with my God?

In short,

This is a cautionary tale for all that while I remain in the flesh, and have not been perfected, I am weak, fallible. My track record shows a tendency towards sin. Especially if sensuality is involved.

But I have hope of perfection, of love and of grace. Where I continue to walk with Him, I will shed the old self and become the new Man of whom Christ Jesus was the first.

I write to show off, and my writing reveals a part of my thought life and gives allowances for nosy critics to rummage through. So they get to lament at how clever I am, or trample on my points.
I must get this declaration out of the way.

Paradise Lost

There was tension in my heart during today's lecture with "Paradise Lost" where the professor approached in from a non-believer's perspective. While he demonstrated good knowledge of the faith, and even had read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, he had missed out on the richness of the Gospel because he had come at it from Christ-less point of view.

Were I afraid that there would be anything that would undo my faith? My faith is not so shallow that it can be prised from me by smart-speak of human knowledge.

The mistake made was to bring down God's standards level with our own, and give room for Satan's reasoning. Even in fiction, the character of the Biblical adversary is treacherous and he is the father of lies. In him there is no goodness and he is not trust-worthy in anyway.

But I am to speak as the Spirit leads me, so I would only speak forth if prompted.
My feel was that everyone was missing out on the love and grace of Christ.
When it was said that all were evil and ungodly, several classmates laughed.

We as human beings still remain convinced that we are inherently good, despite history showing that we are a self-destructive people capable of great cruelties and atrocities.

Satan performs the ageless character assassination of God, and we have learnt to do the same.
Satan's beauty and attractiveness however is only a problem for men, who trust in the visual, the seen.

Battle for Custody

It was said that we were caught in the middle in the conflict between God and Satan. We are 'innocent' in this celestial battle for custody.

It could not be farther from the truth. We have aligned ourselves with Satan, and resisted God and His laws and decrees. We do not want His governance, His justice or His sovereignty. Instead, we want to become equal and reason with Him. We believe that we may be able to stand in His presence, justified by our goodness.

However, our darkness will be brought into the bright Light, and all the secret things of our hearts will be laid bare before Him, who is the standard of Righteousness and Goodness. To Him, we must give full account of our activities. Even Satan has to give an account of all his deeds before God. Job 1:6

Our deeds, thoughts and words will be examined for their motivation, content and effect.
Do we not seek to harm others to promote self, do we not disobey?
Do we not enjoy lawlessness with no one to rein us in?
Do we not hate discipline and good honest hard work?
Do we not ill-treat our fellow men?

We are following in the steps of the enemy who has set himself in opposition to God. He is God's enemy and those who have not been saved are still in his camp.

Q: Can God spare us?
A: Not if He is Just. There is a heavy cost for sin.

But they would begin to reason that God loves us, so he would tend to have mercy and forgive us.

But wait.

Are you saying God's love is unjust? That is not the case.

But we are told, why and how God worked to redeem us.

John 3:16


For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 

Where May We Have Footing

A "Christian" with no root in the Word and no Spirit woud be flushed away by the theodicies and the human arguments.

I was worried that one who was weak in faith may be shaken by the irreverent questions of men.
If we believe in the supremacy of men rather than the supremacy of God, we will never come around to the truth.

Pray for the ground, which is the heart of the unbelievers. That the heart (soil) will be primed by God's Spirit to be ready to take the seed of God's Word and have it grow into a strong, huge tree of faith that is close by the water.

Psalms 1

 ¹ Blessed is the one
   who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
   or sit in the company of mockers,
² but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
   and who meditates on his law day and night.
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
   which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
   whatever they do prospers.


Are We Close-minded?

Dong Lin said that we may have been closed off to other viewpoints, while we stand in our Christianity.
I told him that openness is not a good thing. In the circumstances where moral deterioration is expressed with and using greater freedoms, this openness would be just an openness to sin.
Do not mistake my openness for an openness for immorality. I am open to people.

God's people must keep themselves clean and preserve, reserve themselves, in body, heart, mind, soul and in Spirit for the Bridegroom who is on His way to meet with His Bride.
This Bridegroom is trustworthy, dependable and will fulfill what He has said.
We base our confidence on His love, His character, His spoken Words and promises and His Work completed on the tree.

Pray and Trust
There are so many forces and factors that oppose our faith. We may not fully be able to withstand attacks by men and by the powers of darkness. Like Terence shared, the older you get, the more sense that there is very little you may do by yourself. What we can mostly do is pray.
God has put a hedge around us and our property.

Who may try to damage God's possessions without His permission?

There is a dire need to set aside time each day to spend seeking and finding God, in prayer, finding rest and comfort and renewal in His Word and Spirit. If we do this, we will move in the power of His Spirit.
True Story.

I am overcome by pride most times. Does knowing God longer translates to knowing God better?
Am I always the one whom God has revealed all His secret things to?
It is very clear that this is not the case.


May God work in all our hearts, and prepare us to dwell with and in Him, now and later, forever and ever. Amen.

May I be enticed to to love anew the vain pleasures of the old life that is in the muddy pit, and re-stain my feet and body that my Lord and Saviour has cleansed with His blood?

The sensible answer is no. But once I lose sight of Him who I am to love and serve, I may be carried away (tied up even) by the desires and impulses I have not guarded myself against. I give in to petty sins that lead me away and away from His discipline, His Spirit and His protection.

How long and how far may I run from His Presence and live apart from Him?
I realize that it is not too long, for I have been branded by Him and I am His possession entirely. He would not abandon me to myself and let me remain where I am.
He will seek me out and chasten me and restore me.

And hope glimmers again in my dark heart, the one that I have darkened myself by withdrawing from the Light of the World. He is the One I am to remain in and with forever.

Though I may be weary and discouraged, the LORD is my LORD, and I will praise His Name and sing of His faithfulness.

He has loved me with an everlasting love.

To whom shall we go, Lord? We believe that You have the words of eternal life.